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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225937">With a Little Help from My Friends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/harleybarley/pseuds/harleybarley'>harleybarley</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, Bisexual Remus Lupin, Charades, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gay Sirius Black, Getting Together, Hogwarts, Humor, Idiots in Love, James Potter is a Good Friend, Light Angst, Lily Evans Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Mastermind Lily Evans Potter, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Post-Hogwarts, R/S Romance Fest 2021, Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin is Bad at Feelings, Rings, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter Friendship, Swearing, Wedding Rings, Weddings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:16:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>24,277</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29225937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/harleybarley/pseuds/harleybarley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius Black and Remus Lupin love each other more than either of them can put into words... but it wasn't exactly an easy journey to get together... and neither is sure if they want the same thing looking forward...</p><p>Sometimes we all need a little help from our friends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin &amp; Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black &amp; James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>R/S Romance Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With a Little Help from My Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Created for R/S Romance Fest 2021 for Photo Prompt<br/>Prompt:<br/></p><p>Thank you so so much to plutodolohov, signed_aj, and loveinkwell for your absolutely amazing help (and patience with my complete inability to plan ahead)!</p><p>Thank you to the fest mods!</p><p>Characters and the world belong to J.K. Rowling, though I vehemently reject her truly disgusting views.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>If someone had told fifteen-year-old Remus Lupin that when he was eighteen years old he would be happily in a relationship with Sirius Black, his best guess is that he would have made a completely involuntary sound somewhere between a yelp and a giggle.  Knowing himself, there isn’t much of a chance it would have been a dignified noise, but he probably would have done a halfway decent job at covering it with a coughing fit.  </p><p>But now, they were eighteen and living together in a flat in London that Sirius insisted upon calling their love nest, no matter how many time s Remus smacked him for doing so.  It was domestic and cozy, and everything Remus’s fifteen-year-old self hadn’t realized he wanted.  </p><p>Having Sirius tucked against him on the couch while they hosted Lily, James, and Peter for drinks and charades, felt so incredibly right, he wasn’t sure how he hadn’t realized sooner that this was what he wanted.  All in all, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he wouldn’t have been able to be this happy without being with Sirius.</p><p>The fact that they were absolutely getting their arses handed to them in charades did nothing to subtract from how right everything felt.  </p><p>Sirius wasn’t half bad at charades, but the generous assessment of Remus’s own skills so far was that he was absolutely abysmal, at both guessing and acting.  </p><p>Sirius kept rolling his eyes so dramatically that it seemed like he could legitimately make himself dizzy if he kept at it.  But still, everything was so carefree and comfortable it was impossible for Remus to put the feeling into words, an unusual problem for him.  </p><p>However, if charades kept going this way Sirius was probably going to insist on playing a different game next game night. </p><p>“Moony,” Sirius complained loudly, interrupting Remus’s thoughts.  Sirius was standing in front of him waving his hand urgently.</p><p>“Are you with us, Moony?” He demanded. Some of Sirius’s dark hair had escaped his bun and hung down to frame his face.  His cheeks were flushed with the alcohol, his smile wide and happy.  Remus’s heart fluttered in his chest, Merlin, he loved this man.  </p><p>“Sorry, yes, babe,” Remus replied with a soft smile, shaking his head quickly to bring himself back to the present.  “Show me again?”</p><p>Sirius rolled his eyes again, “Ok,” he said, his voice full of exaggerated exasperation, “but I really need you to pull your weight, I’m trying, but I can’t carry the team indefinitely,” he teased.</p><p>Remus smiled, glancing at the scoreboard Peter was holding.  They were down by over fifty points. “Hate to break it to you, but it doesn't seem like you've been carrying us all that successfully,” he teased.</p><p>“Moony,” Sirius whined, “that,” he said, gesturing at the scoreboard, “is entirely your fault, I’ve almost certainly at least slowed the bleeding.  Honestly, the only thing anyone could have gathered from your impression of the yule ball is that you get dizzy easily. </p><p>Sirius cocked his head, his expression mischievous, “It is a good thing you have other,” he smirked letting his eyes linger somewhere around Remus’s chest, “redeeming attributes because you are not bringing much to the table with your charades capabilities,” Sirius teased, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively and poking just the very tip of his pink tongue out.  </p><p>Remus felt his cheeks flush slightly but couldn’t hold back a smile, even as James and Peter groaned loudly.  He shook his head at his boyfriend slowly, his eyes twinkling.  </p><p>“Keep it in your pants, Black,” Lily protested, the sharpness of her words muted by her happy smile.  </p><p>Sirius ignored her. </p><p>“Have a drink and focus,” Sirius continued animatedly, “We can’t let the head boy and girl beat us, we are better than that!” </p><p>“Pads, I think that ship has sailed,” James said with a laugh, making a gesture like a boat sailing away with his hand and throwing his arm around Lily’s shoulders.  </p><p>Sirius pouted, squatting in front of Remus and putting his hand on his thigh, giving it a quick squeeze.  Remus chuckled, running his hand back through his honey curls.  When would Sirius learn that this amount of closeness did nothing conducive to improving his focus?  Hopefully never.  </p><p>Sirius grabbed his tumbler of firewhiskey and handed it to Remus who took a gulp, savoring the burn in his throat as he felt the liquid run all the way down to his stomach.  “I’m ready,” he choked.</p><p>“Yeah, you are,” Sirius said, “Jily better watch out,” he said with a smile, leaning over to drop a kiss on Remus’s cheek before pushing himself to his feet and beginning his turn.  “We’re about to come from behind.”</p><p>Sirius scrunched up his face in focus before leaping into acting out whatever words were on the card in his hand.  Peter started the timer.  </p><p>Sirius cast a levitation charm on himself, hovering above the ground, his face impassive.  </p><p>“Uhh, you’re a ghost?” Remus tried.  Sirius frowned but didn’t shake his head.  “Nearly Headless Nick?” Remus tried again.  Sirius frowned even harder, a crease appearing between his eyebrows as he thought.</p><p>
  <em> What the heck was he supposed to be? </em>
</p><p>Suddenly Sirius began to shake, still hovering above the floor.  He raised his eyebrows expectantly.  </p><p>Remus searched his mind but came up with nothing. “Uh, how many words is it?”  He really was terrible at this.  </p><p>Sirius held up a single finger and then went back to shaking in the air.</p><p>“Uhhh, a ghost having a seizure?” He asked stupidly.  </p><p>Peter laughed, “He just said it was one word, Remus.”  </p><p>“Oi! No helping the other team!” James exclaimed.  Lily patted his arm soothingly, “I think you can let this slide, dear, they aren’t much of a threat.”  Sirius scowled at both of them.  </p><p>“Hypothermia!” Remus exclaimed. </p><p>Sirius rolled his eyes and then frowned again, clearly trying to think of a more helpful hint.  </p><p>“45 seconds left,” Peter interjected.</p><p>Sirius nodded suddenly and arranged his face so he looked incredibly sad in a way that was entirely unconvincing, much like a child pouting when they didn’t get their way.  </p><p>“Ohh,” James ribbed, “It’s the Padfoot puppy dog face TM,” he quipped, “only effective on one Moony Lupin.” </p><p>Remus stuck his tongue out at him, “Quiet, it’s not your turn.”</p><p>“Moaning Myrtle?” he tried again. “Or, uh, one word, right, just Myrtle? Moaning?”</p><p>James and Peter snorted with laughter.</p><p>“I’m not a bloody ghost,” Sirius muttered, huffing out a breath.  </p><p>“Padfoot!” Peter interrupted, “No cheating!”</p><p>“Sorry,” Sirius grumbled, not sounding remotely apologetic.  </p><p>“30 seconds,” Peter said. “If it happens again there will be a penalty.”</p><p>“How can there be a penalty,” Remus complained, “We don’t even really have any points to lose!”</p><p>Suddenly Sirius’s face broke into a wide grin.  He wordlessly canceled the levitation charm and hurried over to stand in front of Remus, grabbing his hand and tugging him to his feet.  Remus let his boyfriend pull him up, looking at him warily.  Somehow the fact that Sirius was choosing to include him in his act didn’t feel like a positive development.  </p><p>Sirius crashed his mouth down onto Remus’s and sucked on his lips.  It was altogether too wet to be pleasant, cringeworthy squelching sounds filling their flat.  </p><p>“Oh my god, Padfoot.” James choked.</p><p>Sirius pulled away.  He threw his arms out to the side, his palms up in an expectant gesture, looking at Remus with glittering eyes. </p><p>“You’re a fucking terrible kisser,” Remus said with a laugh, wiping his lips with the back of his hand.  “Oh! Are you Gilderoy Lockhart?” He exclaimed, grinning at Sirius. </p><p>Sirius groaned loudly.  “Don’t compare my kissing to Lockhart.” He grumbled.  Peter made to interrupt him but Sirius waved him off  “Oh come off it Wormtail, that’s not cheating.” He protested.</p><p>Gilderoy Lockhart had been Remus’s first kiss during a game of spin-the-bottle that had gone terribly wrong, or terribly right, depending on who you asked.  James had gotten his first kiss from Lily that night, so he was firmly in the ‘terribly right’ camp.  Sirius had kissed Marlene McKinnon and Remus had been forced to kiss Gilderoy Lockhart.  Neither Sirius nor Remus spoke of the game very highly, Remus because Gilderoy had been a truly terrible kisser and Sirius because he’d been painfully jealous, not that he’d admitted to that fact at the time.  </p><p>Thankfully Remus’s revelation that kissing Gilderoy had been something akin to kissing the giant squid had definitely helped reduce Sirius’s negative feelings about that particular game of spin-the-bottle from ‘raging lunatic’ to ‘silently bitter’.  </p><p>Even so, Sirius still steadfastly, and insincerely, maintained that he would never get over the fact that he’d been tragically forced to watch the love of his life passionately make out with another man.  Remus’s typical response, that there was a very big difference between passion and choking, never failed to pull a somewhat reluctant chuckle from his boyfriend.  </p><p>“10 seconds.” </p><p>
  <em> A floating face sucker.  What in Merlin’s - </em>
</p><p>“Oh! You are a dementor!” Remus exclaimed.  </p><p>“Yes!” Sirius shouted triumphantly. </p><p>“Five points to Pads and Moony,” Peter said.  “Getting the answer in right before the buzzer, Well done Remus, you are finally on the board.”</p><p>“Ok, my turn!” James said, climbing to his feet.   </p><p>Sirius looked at Remus with a wicked glint in his eye before scrawling something on the card for James to act out for Lily.  Remus peered over his shoulder at the card.  </p><p>It read, ‘<em> Snogging Snivellous’.  </em></p><p>Sirius smirked as he handed the card to James. Remus just rolled his eyes.  </p><p>As he read the words Sirius had written James visibly shuddered, and then they launched into his turn.</p><p>---</p><p>With the pressure of being the only guesser off, Remus immediately was sucked back into his thoughts.  To be honest, his own lack of focus during the game so far was at least partially responsible for his lackluster performance as a charades partner, but in his defense, he had quite a bit on his mind.  </p><p>James and Lily had recently gotten married.  The ceremony had been so beautiful it had moved him to tears, a fact that both surprised and scared him.  </p><p>The tears were surprising because he hadn’t expected such strong emotions to come up at a ceremony that he had previously put very little stock in.  His own parents had been married of course, but they had also been exceedingly unhappy.  From where Remus sat, his parent’s marriage had been more of a two-way trap than anything else, his mother’s religion preventing her from seeking real happiness with someone else, and his father’s sense of obligation keeping him quiet.  </p><p>His tears were also scary though, mostly because he liked to be in control of his emotions, quickly leashing each one as it arose so he could control them, tucking the unhelpful ones into boxes and throw away the keys.  This emotion was surprisingly strong and had come on too quickly to be leashed. </p><p>As James and Lily had said their vows his own eyes had flickered to Sirius’s face, but it had been guarded and impossible to read.  Too many emotions tangled up on one face to make much sense of anything. </p><p>Now, Remus couldn’t get his mind off of marriage.  Memories from the wedding swimming in his mind in circles, around and around with no way to escape.  He thought about the look on James’s face as Lily had walked down the aisle in her stunning white dress and the look on Lily’s face as James spun her around the dance floor.  It was beautiful, and they had been painfully happy celebrating their love in front of everyone that mattered in their lives.  There was a chance that Remus wanted that too.  </p><p>….ok, it’s possible it was more than a chance at this point. </p><p>Who could have seen that coming?</p><p>He didn’t want a bloody white dress of course.  He just wanted to have forever with Sirius.  And while it certainly wasn’t the main reason for his obsession, it didn’t hurt that he now knew just how stunning his boyfriend looked in a tux.  For everything Muggle’s did that was strange, they really did know something about dress wear.  </p><p>Maybe if they did get married someday they could follow James and Lily’s lead and have the wedding party wear muggle clothing.  That was definitely the kind of thing Sirius would enjoy...</p><p>Though they had been together for years now, he and Sirius had never once talked about marriage.  Frankly, he had never really considered it himself.  But they were only eighteen for Merlin’s sake!  So certainly that was normal?  Sure, he and Sirius were legally adults now, but that didn’t mean he felt like one. </p><p>He was actually starting to think that maturity was some sort of weird illusion.  Before he’d left for Hogwarts he had looked at the older kids in his hometown and thought they looked so remarkably grown-up.  He had been jealous, of course, but their ages had been in the double digits so he had consoled himself by mentally insisting that he too would look and feel grown-up when his own age reached the double digits.  </p><p>But then double digits had arrived without bringing any real feeling of maturity with them.  In fact, his arrival at Hogwarts, not long after obtaining double digits, did nothing but show him a world far larger than the one he’d grown up in.  A world with entirely new standards for maturity.  </p><p>So Remus had refocused on the older N.E.W.T. students at Hogwarts.  To his eleven-year-old self, the N.E.W.T. students had really seemed to have their lives together.  They were big and polished and secure.  They were in relationships and for the most part they knew what they wanted to do with their lives after they graduated school.  </p><p>He hadn’t known what he wanted to do with his life at eleven, but he can clearly remember thinking that he would feel the security and maturity that those N.E.W.T. students exuded when he too was a N.E.W.T. student.  </p><p>But then he’d gotten there and he hadn’t felt it. He’d gone to classes and done well enough on exams, but underneath he still felt as lost and as immature as ever.  Maybe maturity was an illusion at all ages, something everyone constantly saw in others that were slightly older, but could never close their own fingers around.  Who knew? Maybe even Dumbledore didn’t truly feel mature yet, though it seemed unlikely that anyone with a beard past their collar bones could still feel like a child.  </p><p>Maybe trying to feel mature was like trying to nail jello to a wall at all ages.  </p><p>Mature or not, it definitely seemed like marriage was something he wanted.  Merlin’s hairy balls, he really had not seen that one coming.  He couldn’t remember feeling quite so blindsided since the day his friends had revealed they became illegal Animagi to keep him company on the full moons.  </p><p>Whether or not maturity was an illusion, Sirius physically looked mature.  Like a real, live adult.  Not when he stuck his chopsticks up his nose at a Chinese restaurant, of course, and not really right now as he laughed loudly at James trying to get Lily to guess something that looked like James being repeatedly electrocuted, but when he dressed up nicely for work or had a serious conversation, he truly looked the part.  </p><p>From the outside, portraying maturity seemed easy for Sirius, probably at least in part because was handsome and smart in ways that were far from common.  To such an extent that it wasn’t possible anyone who looked at him could miss it.  </p><p>Even so, Remus didn’t think it was possible that everyone else saw the same thing that he did when they looked at Sirius.  If they did, there was no chance anybody would ever be able to stop looking.  Just like Remus couldn’t stop.  Perhaps that was just love though.  Nobody would ever know for sure.</p><p>Then again, even before he’d been in love with Sirius, Sirius had been different than everyone else, magnetic in a way.  Deeply flawed but still flawless.  Perfectly imperfect.  </p><p>Or maybe he’d just always been in love with Sirius.  In love, even early on, but without even a basic understanding of what that really meant.  </p><p>He’d figured it out eventually.  </p><p>They’d needed help to get there though, and they’d lost time that they theoretically could have had together. </p><p>He’d like to think that if help had come sooner they could have saved two long years of dancing around each other like the world’s worst ballerinas, tripping and stumbling all over themselves.  </p><p>But knowing them, it would have taken quite a bit more than a gentle nudge for things to unfold differently.  Stubborn, the both of them.</p><p>Besides, even though they were bad dancers, he supposed they had still put on quite the show at times, a fact that was frankly mortifying, though just enough time had passed that it was starting to become a bit funny as well.  </p><p>It certainly hadn’t been fun to live through, though in hindsight he supposed he could see the humor in at least some of the things that had happened.  As funny as it seemed to be to other people, it would have been better if they had gotten two more years together while they were in school, tucked up in the common room couch, pulling each other into broom closets, and healing each other’s hickeys while James laughed and teased them mercilessly. </p><p>It truly would have taken something big to speed up their timeline though.  </p><p>Even now it was hard to imagine anything that really would have made a difference.  At first, Remus had been so far into the woods of denial of his feelings that he would have needed far more than a gentle reassurance that he and Sirius could work together for him to find his way out.  </p><p>Later on, he hadn’t had much time or energy to actually deal with his feelings because he was too busy hiding his secret.  Quite poorly apparently.  Fear, dread, and embarrassment were powerful motivators, though clearly, they did very little when up against simple teenage awkwardness and horniness.</p><p>Despite the fact that he thought his obsession with Sirius had been subtle (at least until they were fifteen or so), whenever the topic comes up, Lily insists that she picked up on it when they were all fourteen.  And it does seem to come up quite a bit for some reason.</p><p>To be honest, fourteen felt early for her to have noticed anything because at that point Remus himself hadn’t even connected his own overly excitable heart rate and intermittent bouts of clumsiness with the possibility that he had feelings for Sirius.  No, he had spent the first half of being fourteen trying to force himself to look at girls and visiting Madam Pomfrey to have his heart checked no less than four separate times.  </p><p>Ever patient, Madam Pomfrey had thoroughly checked his heart each time he had visited before gently suggesting on his fourth visit that he look for non-medical causes of his body’s behavior.  Remus had pondered her words to no avail and continued to live in the dark until he had woken one morning from a dream that could only be described as erotic, with a stiffy and Sirius’ name on his lips.  It had been quite the revelation.  Colorful language had loudly slipped from his lips and made him immensely glad that he slept with silencing charms around his four-poster bed.</p><p>After that, just to be safe, Remus had practiced his silencing charms consistently.  Perhaps ‘obsessively’ might be a more accurate word than ‘consistently’, though, both were still true.  Thankfully, it wasn’t entirely unheard of for people around his age to show a sudden increase in interest in practicing their silencing charms.  </p><p>The reason he himself practiced so much had been a matter of interest to his fellow marauders who (un)helpfully pointed out that he wasn’t in a relationship, so he had nothing to worry about.  He didn’t even know what he had said to divert their attention most of the time, but he definitely hadn’t told them it had to do with the fact that the star of his wank fantasies slept in a bed less than two meters from his own.  </p><p>No, he had stayed as far away from that explanation as possible for a solid two years, no matter how many knowing glances Lily or James shot at him, their eyes lingering before darting over to Sirius, smiles playing at their lips.</p><p>James insists that he picked up on Remus’s feelings when they were all fifteen, which is a more believable timeline because by the time they were fifteen far too many embarrassing incidents involving himself and Sirius had taken place.  Peter insists that he had noticed by the time they were all sixteen.  Though in hindsight, noticing by sixteen wasn’t much of an accomplishment if one considers exactly how bad their dance around each other had gotten by that point.  </p><p>It was bad.  Embarrassingly so.  Like bad enough that even Professor McGonagall had picked up on it and had started assigning him and Sirius to projects together at every opportunity.  It was possible that she just felt bad for them because they continuously made fools out of themselves, but Remus has a sneaking suspicion she may have also been a participant in a bet involving them.  </p><p>Most years students didn’t begin the subject of human transfiguration on another person (which requires quite a bit of touching) in pairs until the end of sixth year.  But for their year, McGonagall had inexplicably started teaching them pairs human transfiguration right around the Christmas holidays.  Of fifth year.  She’d also assigned partners for the first and only time.</p><p>No, it really would have taken something huge for anything to play out differently than it had.  Subtlety would have slipped by without even creating ripples in the pond.  He and Sirius had been absolutely hopeless. </p><p>Ok, it’s possible, probable even, that they were still hopeless.  A fact evidenced by his own inability to do something as simple as asking Sirius if he ever thought about getting married.  </p><p>They had only finally gotten together back in school because James, Lily, and Peter were meddlesome friends to have, in the absolute best way possible in this particular instance.  </p><p>Their friends truly had given them the past two years of happiness beyond what Remus even felt he deserved.  For what they had done, none of their friends ever needed to get him or Sirius any Christmas presents from now until eternity.  </p><p>All in all, where they are today sounds like the makings of a happily ever after type ending.   Except it wasn’t entirely because he, Remus, remained one of Godric’s most cowardly Gryffindors.  Like seriously, what had the bloody hat been thinking?</p><p>Somehow, in the midst of all his lazy, wandering thoughts, their game of charades had come to an end.  James and Lily had won, to nobody’s surprise.  </p><p>James, now visibly tipsy, magically shredded the used charades cards into makeshift confetti and tossed it into the air over himself and Peter, smiling broadly.  </p><p>“Thanks for having us,” Lily interrupted, rolling her eyes at her husband affectionately.</p><p>“Oi Prongs! Go make a mess in your own flat,” Sirius teased.</p><p> “Sorry about him,” Lily said, vanishing the makeshift confetti with a quick flick of her wand, making James pout comically.    </p><p>“You are going to make such a great mom, Lils,” Sirius said with a chuckle.  Lily flushed pink, but it was probably just the firewhiskey.  </p><p>“Don’t worry about it, Lily,” Remus said with a smile, “We are more than used to it, seven years in a dorm together and all.” </p><p>Lily laughed.  </p><p>After everyone had left, he and Sirius moved to quickly tidy up their flat with a few hastily cast spells.  Remus waved his wand at the empty glasses on the table, sending them flying to the sink where they immediately began to clean themselves.  He glanced around to see what else was left to be done but was quickly distracted by warm arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him close.  </p><p>He sighed contentedly, letting his head rest back on Sirius’s shoulder and breathing in his boyfriend’s spicy cologne.  As usual, Remus felt his own heart rate immediately relax as he inhaled the scent. </p><p>Sirius’s scent relaxed him so infallibly that he’d once swiped some from the bottle and asked Lily to test it for magical properties.  </p><p>Lily had just laughed and shaken her head, “It’s not the cologne, you idiot,” she had replied, patting his shoulder, “His cologne doesn’t need to be magical, love already is.” </p><p>Remus shook his head, smiling as Sirius teasingly ran his fingers up Remus’s side under his shirt.</p><p>“Sorry, I’m pants at charades,” he offered, turning his head and snaking his hand around to pull Sirius’s lips to his own.  He kissed him deeply, getting so drawn into the kiss that the next thing he knew they were chest to chest and he was pressing Sirius against the door of their bedroom.  </p><p>Sure, maybe they had some, er, communications issues, but this had never been a problem for them.</p><p>When they broke the kiss they were both breathing hard.  </p><p>“Like I said earlier, you have other redeeming qualities.” Sirius teased, tracing a single finger down the side of Remus’s neck and then down his chest, popping the buttons as he went.  “You seemed a bit distracted, something on your mind?”</p><p>Here was his opening.  The perfect chance to ask Sirius if he ever thought about marriage.  </p><p>Remus smiled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and giving his arse a squeeze.  “You are always on my mind,” he replied, swiping his tongue along his bottom lip before biting his own tongue between his lips, relishing in the way Sirius' mouth dropped open.</p><p>“That’s a good answer,” Sirius breathed.  </p><p>“How about I show you some of my redeeming qualities,” Remus whispered, bringing his fingers to Sirius’s belt buckle, “since I’m pants at charades and all.”</p><p>“Merlin, Moony,” Sirius choked, his voice delightfully hoarse, pulling their bedroom door open with his foot and tugging Remus inside.  </p><p>He should have been kicking himself for chickening out.  Like he always did.  But he was much too distracted far too quickly for a proper self beat-down.  There would be time for that later.</p><p>---</p><p>When James and Lily arrived at home, they quickly got ready for bed, brushing their teeth in tandem and changing into their pajamas.   </p><p>“Did Remus seem a bit distracted to you tonight?” Lily asked as she slipped under the covers.</p><p>“You thought that too, huh?” James replied as he joined her in bed.</p><p>“Hard to miss with all of Padfoot’s whining,” Lily said, laughing lightly.</p><p>“They wouldn’t have stood a chance even if Remus had been focused,” James said with a chuckle, dropping a kiss on Lily’s cheek.</p><p>Lily leaned into the kiss happily.  </p><p>“But Remus has actually seemed a bit distracted ever since the wedding,” Lily added thoughtfully, “and Sirius has seemed a bit off too.”</p><p>“Now that you mention it, he really has,” James replied.  “I thought maybe it had to do with Regulus, but family problems usually make Pads angry more than anything, and he’s not really been angry per se, just more withdrawn, except when he’s been drinking, I suppose,” James finished with a small laugh.</p><p>Lily snuggled in closer to James, bringing her hand up to ruffle his hair the way she knew he loved.</p><p>What was up with their friends?  </p><p>Remus had been distracted all evening, his eyes flickering to Sirius and then between herself and James all night.  He looked just the way he always did when he was holding in words that wanted nothing more than to spill from his lips.  She knew that look.</p><p>She froze.  “Oh no.”</p><p>James turned to look at her when her fingers stopped moving.  “What?”</p><p>“You don’t think it’s starting again, do you?”</p><p>“What d’you mean?” James said through a yawn.</p><p>“Sirius and Remus, being huge bloody idiots about each other.”</p><p>James frowned.  He knew the look he’d been seeing on Sirius's face lately was all too familiar.  It looked like he was pulling the shades over his own eyes, making it impossible to see anything beneath the surface.   Sirius had worn it almost constantly for years back in school.  </p><p>“Oh, Merlin, save us all.” he moaned.   </p><p>“What do you think they are on about?”</p><p>“You said they’ve been off since the wedding…” Lily said slowly, “Is it possible one or both of them want to get married?”</p><p>“They’ve never talked about it s’far as I know,” James said carefully, “but I guess yeah, that seems entirely possible.”  He frowned, “That’s just the kind of thing that would make them both really stupid.”</p><p>Lily chewed on her lip thoughtfully, “I wonder what it is about them that makes it so that neither can bring up these big topics?” she mused. “They have no trouble talking about other things, and even once someone clearly broaches a topic they find difficult, they’re fine,” she shook her head, “it’s just neither of them can bring these things up.”</p><p>“I know that this is awful,” James said, “and that I shouldn’t enjoy the suffering of my best mates, but you have to admit they did the dumbest and funniest shite back in school.”</p><p>“James!” Lily scolded.</p><p>James raised a single eyebrow, clearly trying to hold back a smile.</p><p>Lily met his gaze for a second before her face broke into a somewhat reluctant grin, “Fine, you are right, it was wildly entertaining at times,” James smirked at her, “but it was also sad and pathetic and like watching a bloody car crash in slow motion.”</p><p>“What was the first thing you noticed with them?” James asked, clearly in the mood for a walk down memory lane.</p><p>“Oh boy,” Lily said, her lips quirking as she thought, “Ahh,” she said as she found a good memory, “I don’t remember what the first thing was... but I definitely remember Remus scribbling ‘RB’ in the margins of his transfiguration notes during class.”</p><p>James burst out laughing. “He did what?” He exclaimed through his snorts of laughter.</p><p>“I was slightly concerned it stood for Regulus Black for a bit,” Lily admitted, “But it quickly became apparent his, er, interests lay elsewhere.”</p><p>James was still laughing.  “Merlin,” he choked out, “‘RB’ - on his notes - that is absolutely pathetic.”</p><p>Lily shot him a look.  “Oh really?” She challenged, “Who was it that doodled little lilies and hearts in the margin of <em> their </em>transfiguration homework?”</p><p>“Oi!” James exclaimed, “Who told you about that?”</p><p>Lily smirked, miming zipping her lips shut and throwing away the key.</p><p>“I’m going to shave Padfoot,” James grumbled.</p><p>“Jamie, my love, you would not make it out alive if you tried to shave Padfoot, you know how he is about his hair,” She patted his head maternally, “besides it wasn’t even him.”</p><p>“Who then!?”</p><p>Lily giggled.  “McGonagall.”</p><p>“Minnie??”</p><p>“In the midst of drawing all those really lovely lilies, it seems someone forgot to add their own name to their homework.  You really can’t blame her for thinking it might be mine.” Lily said, patting James’s arm lovingly.  </p><p>“I was going to rewrite it, but I ran out of time.”</p><p>Lily narrowed her eyes, “I’m sure you ran out of time for reasons that were completely upstanding and unavoidable.”</p><p>James smiled sheepishly.  His reasons hadn’t been what most would consider upstanding, but that didn’t mean he would consider them to be avoidable.  “Of course.”</p><p>Lily laughed, not fooled for a second, “I love you, you idiot.”</p><p>“Do you remember Divination when Padfoot was called on to share what he saw in his crystal ball?”</p><p>“How could I forget?”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> “Tell me, Mr. Black, what is it that you see?”  Professor Oculus asked.  Sirius, who was seated across from Remus at one of the small circular tables, startled, his usually pale cheeks pinking quickly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>  To the casual observer, it may have looked like Sirius was staring deeply into his crystal ball, but from where James was seated, he could tell that the angle was off.  Sirius was gazing intensely right past the crystal ball at Remus, his lips slightly parted.  How Remus hadn’t noticed, well that was beyond comprehension.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Uhh, what?” Sirius asked.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What is it that you see?” Professor Oculus asked, pointedly ignoring the snickers coming from the half of the classroom occupied by the Ravenclaws.  “You were staring intensely, your inner eye must have been quite clear,” he prompted. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, uh -” Sirius frowned hard, his cheeks pinking as he glanced at Remus for help.  Remus shrugged and hid a smirk, probably gleeful that he hadn’t been called on himself, still utterly oblivious to the fact that Sirius had been staring at him.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Mr. Black?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I see - uh - a majestic creature,” Sirius started, “It’s - uh - running through the forest and it’s really lovely.” His words came out quickly, running into each other like students all trying to leave a classroom at once at the end of a lesson. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Is it running towards, or away, from something specifically?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah - uh - actually I think it’s running towards - uh - me.”  Sirius gulped visibly.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Professor Oculus nodded.  “Excellent,” He turned to the class, “As you should have learned in the assigned reading, while Divination using prophecies can concern anyone or anything when one uses tea leaves or the crystal ball, the vision generally concerns the seer themself, or an individual quite nearby.” He turned back to Sirius, fixing his big round and slightly watery eyes on him, “So what do you think this ‘beautiful creature,’ as you say, Mr. Black, represents?” Professor Oculus asked.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Uh -” Sirius looked around desperately for help before words began spilling out like a runaway train, “I think the creature signifies happiness. It’s - uh - smart and kind and intelligent and the most unique and I really -” Sirius trailed off, his face a vibrant red, his eyes panicked and fixed on Remus.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Much like a conductor of a runaway train, it seemed that Sirius had very little control over his words. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Professor Oculus was nodding, “This could have many possible meanings, what type of animal is it?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s a wol-” Sirius snapped his mouth shut and shook his head, his words catching in his throat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “A wol?” Professor Oculus questioned. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Uh, a walrus?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The Ravenclaws were cackling madly at this point, even James had to fight back a laugh at the image Sirius was painting. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “A walrus was running through the forest?” Professor Oculus asked, looking at Sirius like he’d grown another head.  “I don’t believe Walruses generally run, Mr. Black, surely it had to be a different animal, a centaur perhaps, or a unicorn, or a wolf, or ” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius made a high pitched squeaking sound, “Uh -” he started. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Peter shot James a frantic look, they had to do something before Sirius crashed and burned even worse than he already had. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Professor Oculus?” James interrupted loudly, his arm waving in the air, “I see something in my crystal ball!” he exclaimed.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> As Professor Oculus turned towards him, James saw Sirius shoot him a grateful look as Remus looked at Sirius, utter confusion on his face. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>James was laughing hysterically.  “That was the first and only time I actually voluntarily raised my hand in Divination.  “Padfoot bloody owes me, Oculus was all over me for the rest of the lesson.”</p><p>“That’s your fault for signing up for such a rubbish subject,” Lily teased, “I think you would have quite liked Arithmancy.”</p><p>“Of course I would have,” he replied, “you would have been there.”</p><p>Lily groaned half-heartedly but pulled James close.  “You are so whipped, Potter.”</p><p>James smiled, “You know it.”</p><p>“Ohhh, I’ve got another good one,” James said.  “You weren’t there for this one either.”</p><p>“Oh?” Lily asked, raising her eyebrows.</p><p>“Yeah, we were in Care of Magical Creatures...”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> “As you approach a Hippogriff one must pause about 3 meters away and lower yourself into a deep bow, as a sign of respect,” Professor Kettleburn said, his voice sounding tired. “Only once the Hippogriff has bowed in turn, is it safe to approach.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius swept his long black hair up, tying it back in its usual bun, a look of interest on his face as he looked at the Hippogriffs in the pen.  James himself was much less interested in the Hippogriffs than Sirius appeared to be.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> His gaze caught on Marlene McKinnon, whose own eyes were fixed on Sirius.  Marlene had a thing for Sirius, James knew that, well, to be fair, everyone knew that, Marlene wasn’t exactly subtle.  She almost looked hungry.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus’s hazel eyes kept flicking from Sirius to Marlene and then back to the Hippogriffs in the pen, almost like they were refusing to follow his instructions as to where to look.  It didn’t take a genius to figure out which parts of Remus wanted to look where. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “The Hippogriff can be a very dangerous creature, but once you have earned their respect, they are also immensely loyal.  Do we have any volunteers to demonstrate for the class how to introduce oneself to a Hippogriff?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’ll give it a go,” Sirius offered confidently, his hand swaying in the air.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Excellent, Mr. Black.” Professor Kettleburn replied with a smile.  “Now remember, bow nice and low, make sure your chest is below your hips.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius walked forward, the only sign of nerves the slight shortening of his stride, like he didn’t want his legs to take him too close too quickly.  Once he was about 3 meters from the Hippogriff he lowered himself into a bow, keeping his eyes fixed on its hooves.  Sometimes it was easy to forget that Sirius was a Black, but only a Black could make a bow, ordinarily a submissive gesture, so elegant and dignified.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James found himself holding his breath.  His ears just picking up on a barely audible squeak to his right.  He tore his eyes away from Sirius.  It was Remus, his hazel eyes were fixed on Sirius’s toned arse, up in the air as he remained in his bow.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James narrowed his eyes, taking in his friend’s appearance. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus’s eyebrows were raised, his left cheek slightly hollowed, like he was chewing on the inside of it, his face as a whole slightly pinker than usual.  As James watched him, Remus took his bookbag off his shoulder and swung it so it hung in front of him.  Merlin’s beard!   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Alright there, Moony?” He asked quietly, biting on the inside of his cheek to keep his face straight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus ripped his gaze away from Sirius’s arse, his already pink cheeks flushing even deeper.  “Er, yup, I - er - don’t think - er - it’s a good size, isn’t it? I mean, of course, it’s lovely, and distinguished, even quite beautiful in a way, er - yeah -” Remus finished weakly.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James quirked his lips to hold in his smile, “What exactly are you talking about?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus frowned, his eyebrows retreating into his hairline, “The Hippogriff, of course?” He asked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “If you say so.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus’s face was positively scarlet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James looked away to let his friend off the hook and watched as the Hippogriff sank into a bow opposite Sirius.  A faint applause rang out.  The Hippogriff preened. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You can approach him and give him a pat on his neck, Mr. Black, just remember to keep your movements slow.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius did as instructed, approaching slowly and patting the Hippogriff gently on its feathered shoulder. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Alright,” Professor Kettleburn said, “we have three Hippogriff’s here for today’s lesson, please divide yourselves into three groups.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius was smiling happily, albeit a bit cockily, as he made his way back to the group.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Marlene flung herself at Sirius, wrapping her arms around him and tucking her face into his shoulder. “You were brilliant.” She said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius froze, his arms sticking out awkwardly, like he didn’t know where to put them.  He shot James a desperate look.  James just smirked back in a way that he knew Sirius would find irritating.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> What were brothers for if not for enjoying each other’s awkward moments? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius glared back, slowly wrapping his arms around Marlene like he wasn’t sure if she would explode if he squeezed too tightly.  “Er - thanks.” He replied uncomfortably, his arms going slack at his sides once again.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Out of the corner of his eye, James saw movement.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus’s formerly flushed face had paled considerably and he was backing away from the group quickly, his face frozen.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Remus, look out!” came Peter’s voice, high pitched in his urgency.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It was too late.  Remus backed up into an exceptionally large pile of  Hippogriff droppings, the heel of his shoe catching but his body weight continuing backwards.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> For a fraction of a second, it looked like he might catch himself, his arms frantically windmilling as he tried to balance himself, but then he fell with a resounding splat that helpfully caught the attention of the entire class.  The flattened pile of Hippogriff droppings squelched out on either side of Remus, covering his hand and part of his bookbag.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus closed his eyes, his face frozen in place as he brought his clean hand up to his forehead.  He visibly took a deep, steadying breath as gasps and faint chuckles broke out amongst their classmates.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Wow, that has quite the stench” Marlene offered, pinching her nose and taking the opportunity to step closer to Sirius.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James couldn’t see Remus’s face, but if he could, he was positive he would see a scowl. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Er, at least it was a soft landing?” Sirius asked, his lips twitching in amusement as he stepped away from Marlene and headed over to offer Remus a hand.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Interesting fact,” Professor Kettleburn interrupted, “Hippogriff droppings are rather resistant to the Scourgify charm,” he said helpfully, seemingly gleeful at the opportunity to offer the class more knowledge about Hippogriffs and their droppings.     </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus bit his lower lip hard, shooting a glare at Sirius’s outstretched hand before rolling to the side and clambering to his feet by himself.  His entire backside was covered in the greyish green Hippogriff manure.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Groans rang out in the class again as everyone took in the scene.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James hated to admit it, but Marlene was right, now that they were disturbed, the droppings smelled absolutely horrendous.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius frowned, pulling his hand back, all traces of humor gone from his face.  “You ok?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Fine.” Remus snapped, his face a vibrant red.  </em>
</p><p><em> “You may want to head up to the castle, Mr. Lupin, you’ll need a new change of clothes for the rest of the day,” Professor Kettleburn said happily, somehow completely unperturbed by the fact that one of his students was </em> <em> murderously glaring at </em> <em> another.  Honestly, when one considered the fact that James himself felt himself stepping back from the intensity of Remus’s glare, even though it wasn’t directed at him, it was impressive Kettleburn still had such a content smile on his face.  Then again the man intentionally chose to work around dangerous creatures and students that were unfamiliar with them, so not much could be said for his judgment.  </em></p><p>
  <em> Remus nodded stiffly.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Do you want me to come with you?” Sirius offered, pulling back slightly when Remus’s eyes flashed dangerously in response.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No,” Remus snapped, “You’ve done enough.” He added, turning on his heel and setting off for the castle.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius turned to him, “What did he mean I’ve done enough?”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James groaned. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>“Do you remember the banana incident?” James asked, slipping his arm around Lily’s shoulders and giving her a warm squeeze.</p><p>“How could I possibly forget?” Lily replied.  “I still remember us talking about it on our way to class when things were still so new with us.”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> “Did you see Remus at breakfast yesterday,” Lily asked tugging on her red ponytail in exasperation as she and James walked together to Arithmancy.  She had only recently acquiesced to James ever determined, and more recently respectful, pursuit of her.  Their relationship still felt new and it was exciting to slip her hand into his.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s getting hard to watch.” She added. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James squeezed her hand and groaned, “We passed ‘getting hard to watch’ ages ago.  You don’t even see the half of it, what with us sharing a room, and uh, a bathroom with uh showers.” He murmured, his face turning red.  “But yes, I saw that too, Padfoot eating that banana and Moony silently dying.  It took everything in me not to tease Moony about the near faucet level of drool running down his chin,” he frowned, “Or take the bloody banana away from Padfoot to put poor Moony out of his misery.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re a strong man, James Potter,” Lily said sarcastically, using her free hand to squeeze his bicep teasingly.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He shot her a crooked smile, his cheeks pinking slightly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> After his many years of bold, and often public, courting of her, Lily didn’t think anyone in Hogwarts (or Hogsmeade for that matter) would have guessed that James Potter could be shy.  She bit the inside of her cheek to contain her smile.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Have you tried talking to Padfoot?” Lily asked, “Maybe they just need a gentle nudge?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James shot her a look. “How would that go? ‘Oi, Pads, I can tell you want to shag Moony’s brains out and I’m pretty sure he’d have absolutely no complaints if you just went for it, so why don’t you just go ahead and talk to him, or - you know - just jump the bloke” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That probably wouldn’t be half bad,” Lily said with a light laugh.  “I think it would mean a lot coming from you,” she added. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Do you think he’s worried I won’t approve?” James asked, his face suddenly serious in the way it always was when he was worried about someone he cared about. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I don’t know,” Lily said, “But it would be understandable if he was, what with your somewhat ridiculous group dynamics,” she said with a gentle elbow to James’s side.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James frowned.  “Fair point, though I am going to pretend you said ‘awesome group dynamics’ not ‘ridiculous’ because I am sure that’s what you meant,” he said with a laugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily laughed, “Of course,” she said, “And no, I don’t think that’s the issue, James,” Lily said, “I think Padfoot knows nothing would change your friendship, he’s a hot mess.  They both are, really, but it couldn’t hurt.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’ll think about it,” James said, “I don’t want him to be worried about my reaction, I’ll be happy so long as they are both happy and neither of them bollocks it up.” He frowned, “Merlin, I’m going to have to give both of them the ‘if you hurt my best friend you’ll have me to answer to’ talk, aren’t I?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily laughed.  “Perhaps, but one of them will have to get their act together first.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Aha, you are right, at this rate I’ve probably got what like 5-7 years to figure out my speech.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They both laughed, Lily leaning into James’s side. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Maybe you should talk to Moony, you guys talk quite a bit, right?” James said, quirking his head, an emotion Lily couldn’t name flickering across his face. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily frowned softly, “You aren’t jealous, are you, James Potter?” she teased gently.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No, but if I didn’t know Moony wishes he was Sirius’s banana so much that he legitimately could dehydrate himself by way of drool, I might be.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily laughed. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>“Do you remember that Quidditch match against Ravenclaw when Sirius ‘got distracted’ and fell off his broom?” Lily asked.</p><p>“Of course I remember,” James replied with a scowl, “I still haven’t forgiven Padfoot for making us lose that match.”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> “Gryffindor is in the lead 90 to 30.  We’ve witnessed some really superb chaser work by the Gryffindor Chasers Potter, McKinnon, and Brown.” The commentator rang out, “And oh! that’s another goal for the Gryffindor Captain James Potter with a fake to the right and then a zinger through the left hoop.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James let out a celebratory whoop, pumping his fist in the air before crouching low against his broom and shooting off once again.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily bit back a smile, there was nothing like watching James play Quidditch.  He really was in his element.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That’s your boyfriend,” Remus said, nudging her side gently with a smile on his face.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily blushed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That was a spectacular goal, don’t you think?” Mary McDonald asked from the other side of Remus, sliding a little closer to him along the bench as she spoke. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus turned to look at her with a smile, “Yeah, James is incredible,” he said, quickly returning his eyes to the players flying above the pitch. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ravenclaw is in possession now, Smith to Boot to Kirk and back to Boot, an attempt on the hoop, ohh stopped by the Gryffindor keeper, what a save!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And OHH NO! Black, the Gryffindor beater is off his broom, no bludgers in the vicinity, didn’t see what happened there.” Confusion was evident in the commentator's tone.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily’s eyes quickly scanned the pitch and found the crumpled heap that was Sirius, right below where they were sitting, laying at the base of one of the Ravenclaw hoops.  Her heart leaped in her throat, he didn’t appear to be moving. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shit shit shit!” Remus yelped next to her, his fingers closing on her sleeve. “Oh Merlin, Padfoot! What happened!? He’s ok, right? He’s got to be ok!”   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “He’ll be ok,” came Mary’s voice reassuringly from the other side of Remus, patting his arm as she spoke, “Madam Pomfrey has dealt with worse.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Did anyone see what happened?” Lily asked, her voice thick with her anxiety, her eyes fixed on Sirius as Madam Hooch and Madam Pomfrey headed towards him.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus was standing now, leaning over the edge, his knuckles white where his fingers closed around the railing.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily tugged him back down, “You can’t do anything right now, Remus.  Madam Pomfrey will fix him right up,” she said, trying to keep her own worry out of her voice.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Alice is saying he flew into the hoop,” came the perplexed sounding voice of Frank Longbottom behind them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “He flew into the hoop?” Remus repeated weakly, like he was trying to make sense of the words as they came out. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “How does that even happen? Did someone confund him?” Mary asked, her voice scanning the Ravenclaw spectators suspiciously.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They later found out that Madam Pomfrey had not found any trace of the confundus charm in Sirius’s system.  However,  he didn’t seem to have any explanation for his behavior that made much sense. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Whenever he was asked about what had happened he would quickly become a stuttering, beet red, mess of a person that feebly offered explanation after explanation, each more far fetched than the last. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily had personally heard him offer up a whole slew of different excuses, everything from a stray, but incredibly strong,  gust of wind to temporary blindness brought about by the sun reflecting off the metal of the hoops just so.  For a smart bloke, it was surprising that he hadn’t at managed to come up with some sort of decent explanation during the night he spent in the hospital wing.  Or at least choose a single story to stick to. Then again, maybe there just wasn’t a good way to explain away something so ridiculous.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> She had to admit, his illogical and varied mumbled explanations were wildly amusing to witness.  Something about seeing Sirius Black, the only person to ever smooth talk himself out of a detention with McGonagall after it had already been assigned, being reduced to a stuttering and mumbling mess that seemed to only have a rudimentary understanding of the English language was painfully funny. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius’s explanations were even worse when Remus was present, his voice venturing up several octaves and his feeble laughter sounding like it kept catching in his throat. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>“Seriously, what are the chances of flying into a hoop?” James asked, irritation still in his voice. “With all that bloody open air, and as a beater no less, what was he even doing near the hoop?”</p><p>“Let it go, dear, it was years ago.  Besides, we all know exactly what he was doing near that particular hoop,” she said with a smirk.  </p><p>“Not playing Quidditch that’s for sure,” James grumbled, “We should have won!” </p><p>“To answer your other question, evidently the chances of flying into a hoop are higher than you’d suspect when the player in question is focused on a bloke in the stands I suppose,” Lily said, biting back her laughter.  </p><p>James muttered something about useless teammates that Lily couldn’t quite make out. </p><p>“I made sure Remus and I sat in the middle of the pitch for every game after that,” Lily said, patting James’s arm, “we kept Sirius far away from all those treacherous stationary objects.”</p><p>James laughed, “You are the real MVP, Lils.”</p><p>“Did I tell you what happened in the hospital wing later that day?” James asked.</p><p>“No, I don’t think so?”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> “Padfoot, what the bloody hell happened out there?” James asked as he approached Sirius’s bed in the hospital wing, trying to force the concern he was feeling to overpower the irritation he knew was threatening to sneak into his tone.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sorry mate,” Sirius replied sheepishly, “did we lose?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yup,” James said, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word. “Seriously though, what happened?” James repeated. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I - uh - think I flew into the hoop.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I deduced that much, how, in the name of Merlin, does something like that happen?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I guess I lost focus,” Sirius said quietly, not meeting his eyes. “Sorry.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You guess you lost focus?” James repeated slowly, shaking his head.  “When you are on a broom you are literally a projectile dangerous to others, but mostly yourself!  That’s flying 101!” He said, quoting Madam Hooch, “Embodiment of stupidity,” he muttered incredulously under his breath. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Is Moony dating MacDonald?” Sirius asked suddenly, his eyes lowered to his own lap. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?!” James snapped, his patience already wearing thin, “Why?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “They were sitting together at the match, like, kinda close,” Sirius said quietly.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That’s what this is about!! Merlin’s balls, Padfoot,” James said, running his hand through his hair in exasperation, “Don’t tell me that is why you flew into the bloody hoop, you were busy looking at Moony?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius shrugged non-committedly, “Ok then,” Sirius said with faux nonchalance, “I won’t tell you that.  I just, Moony is so nice and - uh yeah - we’ve got to look out for him, you know?” He asked, bringing his eyes up to chance a look at James. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not during the bloody match!” James exclaimed, “During the bloody match, you need to look out for yourself, and the rest of the team, that’s your job as our bleeding beater!  You’re lucky you didn’t kill your own stupid arse. Besides, Moony can take care of himself.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James paused, deflated slightly from his rant, looking at Sirius’s pale face carefully, weighing his options.  He squared his shoulders, “Mary is a nice girl,” he added, challengingly.  If Sirius’s infatuation with Remus had gotten bad enough that it was interfering with Quidditch, of all things, maybe it was time to address this head-on. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I suppose,” Sirius said unconvincingly.  “So is something going on between them? It kind of looked like something may be going on…  like she was touching his arm.” He added, shuddering slightly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  “Did it look like she was touching his arm before or after you fell off your bleeding broom?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Before.” Sirius said, like it should have been obvious, “Madam Pomfrey said I was unconscious for several minutes after, by the time I came too I couldn’t find him anywhere.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James groaned loudly. “Have you considered - uh - I dunno - maybe just telling Moony how you feel?” James snapped. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “How I feel?” Sirius said, looking confused, “Uh, he hasn’t come to visit yet but you can tell him if you want, I feel, uh - quite sore really,” Sirius said, stretching and taking stock of his injuries, “but Madam Pomfrey says that should clear up by morning. Overall, I’m feeling ok, all things considered.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You are feeling ok, all things considered.” James repeated disbelievingly, “Forget losing the match, you’ve lost your freaking mind!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You don’t mean that?” Sirius said, clearly confused, his head cocked in a way that reminded James eerily of his dog form. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re right, how could I forget us losing the match,” James said sarcastically.  “Really, Pads,” James said, his tone becoming serious as he took a seat on the edge of Sirius’s bed, “Don’t you think this thing with you and Remus has gone on this way long enough?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I don’t know what you mean,”  Sirius said, his eyes wide. “What thing?” Either Sirius was a really good actor, or he was as thick as could be.  So thick it was damn near impressive he got his bleeding broom off the ground in the first place. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Do you, or do you not, have feelings for Remus?” James said, leveling Sirius with a hard stare. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?” Sirius asked, sounding shocked. “Of course I do, he’s one of my best mates, and frankly if he were here I think he’d be showing a lot more concern and a lot less irritation, I fell over 20 meters you know.” </em>
</p><p><em> James let out an exasperated sigh.  “Do you, or do you not, have </em> non-platonic <em> feelings for Remus?” He clarified.   </em></p><p>
  <em> James just raised his eyebrows and stared, watching a series of emotions flicker across his friend’s face before it landed on an expression of something between horror and stunned disbelief. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I mean, I think about him - I - he’s so -  and then Mary - and I - feel - holy shit - it’s just he’s so - and I’m so -Merlin’s beard!” Sirius whispered. “Morgana’s saggy tits. Holy mother fucking shit.”  Sirius’s usually pale face whitened even further as the blood drained from it.  His mouth moved soundlessly in a way that would have been funny if the situation wasn’t so incredibly sad.  Besides, they had just lost a Quidditch match they should have won easily, it was going to be at least a few hours before he found anything funny.    </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius narrowed his eyes at James, “Wait,” he said slowly, “How did you know?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “How did you not?” James countered, fighting the urge to seize his friend by the shoulders and shake him until he started making more sense.  As appropriate as it felt, that should probably wait until he was at least released from the hospital wing so he didn’t cause any further damage.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Well, why didn’t you tell me!?” Sirius exclaimed.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t think I needed to! And frankly, I was waiting for you to tell me!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Both boys sat there, shaking their heads. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m in love with Remus,” Sirius said suddenly, his voice quiet, his mouth seemingly tasting the words as they came out to see if they tasted alright alright.  “This explains so much...” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Wait, what!?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What do you mean wait what! You just told me!?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I didn’t realize you were in love! Merlin’s beard, I just thought you wanted to shag his brains out. See what things would be like with a bloke, I dunno...” he finished stupidly.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And they say you’re the romantic,” Sirius replied sarcastically.  Suddenly his mouth dropped open and his facial features froze, “Oh my god, does Moony know too??” He asked, visibly horrified.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James scratched his head.  This really wasn’t how he foresaw this conversation going.  “I don’t think so,” James paused as Sirius hissed out a breath of relief, “Basically, if he was any more clueless, he’d be you,” he added. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shut it.” Sirius snapped, dropping his face into his hands and sitting like that, his shoulders rising and falling with his breathing. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “So what are you going to do about it?” James asked eventually. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Nothing!” Sirius said quickly, looking up with wide eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why!?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Just because you have no problem making a bloody fool out of yourself pursuing Evans for years on end, somehow rebounding like a fucking bouncy ball every time she tossed you off a cliff, doesn’t mean we are all that resilient.  Besides, if I said something to him, I could never unsay it! I could ruin our friendship!  How could you possibly think that’s a good idea??” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James shrugged, “What if he feels the same way though?  Instead of making everything worse, it could make everything better. No risk, no reward.”  Besides, he wouldn’t say anything to Sirius on the off chance that he was wrong, but it seemed like the chances Remus didn’t have feelings for Sirius were about as high as flying into the bleeding goal post during a Quidditch match.  Then again, Sirius had somehow made that happen... </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Spoken like the man that thought sending Evans a charmed singing flower every day of February was a good idea,” Sirius grumbled.  “Besides, the keyword in your sentence was ‘if’.  I can’t count on ‘if’”. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hey,” James protested, “It worked out in the end for me, didn’t it?  I feel like it would for you too…” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not because of the bleeding flowers, she just used those to make potpourri,” Sirius said irritably, rolling his eyes.  He paused, seemingly considering his options.  “No.” he said firmly after a long silence, “It’s just not worth the risk.  I can’t lose him.” Sirius said firmly.  “I don’t even know if he’d go for me.  I’ll get over it.  It’s all going to be fine.  You’ll see.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James wasn’t sure who Sirius was trying to convince, but based on the look on Sirius’s face, it seemed safe to assume neither of them was actually convinced.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Fine,” James said reluctantly.  Evidently, Sirius had somehow just realized he had feelings for one of his best friends, maybe he just needed a little time to process before he grew a pair and bloody did something about it.  People had thought he was bad at love, at least he was bloody in touch with his emotions! “But get your shite together, you are my best mate but I am not above replacing you as beater.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I promise I won’t fly into anything else,” Sirius said, waving him off, clearly distracted with his own thoughts. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You bloody better not, and if you must, it better not be during the match against Slytherin, because if you do, the resulting fall won’t be your biggest worry.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Thanks, mate,” Sirius replied sarcastically. </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>“He really hadn’t realized??” Lily exclaimed. “Wow, Remus definitely had, he was just busy trying to pretend it wasn’t a thing.  Merlin, you would have thought colliding with a goal post because you were staring at your friend would have least caused him to, I dunno, question some things.”</p><p>James laughed.</p><p>“Oh my god, I just remembered another one,” Lily blurted.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Oh my god, yes, I think I deserve a medal for not laughing at this one… So we were in the common room...”</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> Sirius was smearing a thick coat of muggle chapstick on his lips, a gift from Mary MacDonald.  Remus didn’t seem to be able to look away, his mouth slightly parted as he unsubtly watched his friend. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What in the world are you doing, Pads?” Peter asked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s muggle chapstick,” Sirius exclaimed happily, “It’s bloody brilliant, it makes your lips smooth and moist and prevents cracking.”  He said, sounding like the world’s most enthusiastic chapstick salesperson.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Isn’t there a potion for that?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “The potions work well, I’ll give you that, but this tastes fantastic,” Sirius said, smearing another coat on his lips and then swiping his tongue slowly along his bottom lip.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sirius,” Lily said sternly, “Chapstick is not a foodstuff.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Then why do they make it taste so good?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Because they anticipate the average human knows -” Lily cut off as Sirius applied another thick coat to his lips “Oh my god!” She exclaimed, “Stop, you are going to make yourself sick.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “If it made you sick, they wouldn’t tell you to put in on your lips.” Sirius argued, “and they wouldn’t make it taste so good, it’s got like a warm vanilla taste.” He explained. “Maybe some cinnamon...” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Have you ever heard of moderation?” Lily asked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius rolled his eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, I’ve heard too much of anything is bad for you.” Peter chimed in.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius just smirked, finally capping the chapstick.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus eyed the small tube of chapstick suspiciously.  “How good could it possibly taste?” He asked skeptically, visibly fighting to keep his eyes away from Sirius’s slightly shiny lips.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’d be surprised, Moony, want a taste?” Sirius said, popping his lips as he pulled his lips in and rubbed them together to get an even coat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus flushed scarlet, his eyes fixed on Sirius’s lips.  “Er - what?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius looked puzzled briefly before he realized how his words sounded and his cheeks reddened quickly.  “Oh - uh - I meant -” he started, holding out his hand with the chapstick slightly just as Remus choked out  “Er - ok - yeah,” stepping closer to Sirius, his eyes wide.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius froze as Remus approached, his lips parted slightly, the chapstick in his hand falling back to his side.  “Oh, er - yeah ok,” he stammered, stumbling forward a step.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, I see -” Remus choked, his eyes falling to Sirius's hand, “Er - I see - er sorry.”  He looked positively mortified. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, no problem,” Sirius mumbled, taking a step back and holding out the chapstick, something that looked like disappointment visible in his eyes.  Remus didn’t notice it though as he busied himself inspecting the chapstick and then swiping a thin coat across his own lips.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus tentatively touched the tip of his tongue to his lip and tasted the chapstick.  Sirius watched with altogether too much interest, the tip of his tongue just poking through his lips.  “Pads, is right,” he stammered, “It does taste pretty good.” Lily groaned. “But Lily’s still right, moderation and all,” he said, stumbling over his own words.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus handed the chapstick back to Sirius awkwardly, neither seemingly able to look the other in the eye. Both were blushing furiously, their cheeks closer to the scarlet of the Gryffindor emblem on their robes than their usual color.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Er, thanks,” Remus said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Anytime,” Sirius mumbled. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Idiots, the both of you,” Lily muttered, shaking her head in disbelief, but Sirius and Remus were both too busy drowning in their embarrassment to notice much of anything.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>James was roaring with laughter. </p><p>“I feel  - I feel like the fact that neither of us - that neither of us seems to be running out of embarrassing things Pads or Moony has done around each other, speaks volumes,” James choked out through his laughter.</p><p>Lily and James descended into silence.  Based on the look on her face, Lily was probably also thinking about how things had eventually gotten sorted out for their friends.  </p><p>“I’m still pretty proud of how we got everything sorted out,” James said.  </p><p>Lily smiled, “Yeah, me too.”</p><p>"They'd probably still be lost without us."</p><p>---</p><p>
  <em> Things between Sirius and Remus had reached the point where it was truly unbearable. They didn’t speak to each other for three whole weeks.  Well, more accurately, Sirius didn’t speak to Remus for three weeks, and Remus didn’t speak to Sirius for the second and third week of Sirius’s three.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At the beginning of the three weeks, the mutual silent treatment seemed, at least to Lily, to be something to do with Remus and Mary breaking up.  Why Sirius, who now owned up to his feelings to everyone except Remus, would view Remus’s break up as anything but a positive, was beyond comprehension.  Then again, one could get incredibly lost and sink an awful lot of time into trying to understand Sirius’s thought processes.  Perhaps some things weren’t meant to be understood.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Whatever the reason, because Sirius was usually the loudest of the marauders, his silence screamed louder than any words he could have spoken and was incredibly uncomfortable. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus evidently hadn’t connected Sirius’s silence with his own breakup and seemed to be trying to write off Sirius’s odd behavior as him having issues with Regulus.  He dutifully tried to engage Sirius in conversation throughout the first week, which only resulted in Sirius snapping at him, hence the start of Remus’s own silence.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> If James had to wager a guess, by the end of week two of the silence, not a soul knew exactly what the issues were between the pair anymore, just that they were without a doubt having issues.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> At first glance, Remus looked to be faring better than Sirius with the strain in their relationship.  But anyone that knew him could see the toll it was taking in the shadows underneath his eyes and the way his quill shook slightly between his fingers when Sirius was nearby.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The strain had a bigger visible effect on Sirius.  When Sirius was stressed, the first thing to go was always his ability to get a good night's sleep.  The resulting sleep deprivation fed back into the cycle and he’d go downhill, quickly.  Spiraling like the N.E.W.T. students during exams.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius would spend breakfast chugging down goblet after goblet of coffee with so much cream and sugar that it looked more like milk than coffee.  Then he’d spend the first half of the day jittering so much that he was completely unable to take notes, his knees bouncing under his desk as his eyes flickered around the classroom, his agitation apparent.  The generous assessment was that he looked somewhat unhinged.  The less generous assessment was that Sirius Black was an absolute mess. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> By the second half of the day, the jittering would seem to subside, but Sirius would start to droop, his head heavy on his bowing neck and his eyes wide, but glazed over. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> After a few days, it seemed that the buckets of coffee that Sirius drank to compensate for his exhaustion stopped having the desired effect, and James truly started to worry.  Sirius was a shell of himself, more zombie than human.  It took at least two attempts to get his attention and if you were so lucky as to get a response, his ability to string words into sentences seemed to cap out at three. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus seemed to be fighting an internal battle, his indignation at Sirius’s treatment of him warring with his genuine concern for his visibly spiraling friend.  Sirius didn’t seem to notice.  Then again, in this state, there was probably only a fifty-fifty chance that Sirius would notice even if someone went so far as to set him on fire. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When James showed up to lunch one day in week three of the silence, he quickly noticed Sirius’s usual chair sitting vacant.  Remus and Peter seemed to be having a silent discussion, taking turns glancing at the chair and offering each other challenging looks.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It wasn’t fair, but James heard himself snapping at Remus, “You need to fix this!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Me!” Remus exclaimed, looking affronted, “Why me? You heard how he was talking to me.  I didn’t even do anything!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’re not this bloody clueless, I know you didn’t do anything, that’s exactly the bleeding problem.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus tried to look innocent, but the slight narrowing of his hazel eyes gave him away.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Where is he?” James snapped. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “He didn’t show up to Arithmancy,” Remus mumbled, not meeting James' eye.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ughhh,” James groaned, eyeing the casserole on the table before grabbing a sandwich and setting off for Gryffindor tower.  Merlin, he was a good friend.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When James walked into their dorm room he was met with the sight of Sirius on his bed, his knees pulled up to his chest.  He was rocking slightly, his face partially hidden behind a book that it didn’t look like he was actually reading.  The floor around him was littered with torn up bits of parchment and at least ten empty glass potion vials.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James quietly walked up to the nearest empty vial and pulled out the stopper, taking a whiff.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He shuddered, the burn of the potion clearing his sinuses and stinging his throat.   Pepperup Potion. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “How much of this have you had?” James asked, holding up the empty vial and narrowing his eyes at Sirius.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius startled like he’d been electrocuted, his eyes were round like saucers, more pupil than his grey irises.  With the book lowered, James could make out a steady stream of steam seeping out his ears.  It looked like he was on fire.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Some. Not enough. Not too much. Don’t worry about it. I feel great.”  Sirius’s words came out short and choppy.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> As far as he could recall, there hadn’t been any glass vials on the floor this morning.  Ten empty ones was way too much for one person in one morning.  “Padfoot,” James said slowly, like Sirius was an animal he could spook, “Did you drink all of these this morning?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius nodded jerkily. “Was going to miss my lesson if I didn’t do something.  Too tired to sleep.  Haven’t slept in days.  Doing my homework now.” Sirius nodded enthusiastically, making himself look like a bobblehead.  His words were slowly starting to blend together as the jerky quality faded. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sirius, I just came from lunch,” James said, “Remus and Peter are at lunch.  You missed morning lessons.  It’s 12:30, mate,”  James paused, watching Sirius’s face.  He seemed to be completely unaffected by James’s words, like he hadn’t even heard them.  “Padfoot, if you drank all these this morning,” he said, gesturing at the vials and doing some quick mental math with the proper dosing of Pepper Up, “That’s bad.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ifeelgreat.” Sirius argued, the jerky quality was completely gone from his words.  Now he just sounded extremely drunk.  The steam was pouring out of his ears so quickly it was making a cloud around his face.  His usually pale cheeks were a vibrant red.  He batted his hand at the cloud of steam with very little effect.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “We are going to the hospital wing,” James said firmly, crossing the room and seizing Sirius by the arm, tugging him roughly to his feet. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Madam Pomfrey had not been impressed with Sirius’s decision-making skills, but she quickly administered the antidote and the steam pouring from his ears had lessened immediately.  When James explained that Sirius hadn’t been sleeping well for quite some time, her features softened and she gave him a vial of Dreamless Sleep, shooing James from the hospital wing with the promise that he could visit tomorrow, after Sirius had gotten some much-needed rest.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The next morning, James woke early so that he could swing by the hospital wing before breakfast.  Enough was enough.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When he arrived, Sirius was sitting in his hospital bed, his Transfiguration textbook was open on his lap.  He looked lightyears better than he had when James had last seen him.  There was color in his cheeks, but not too much.  His eyes were clearer than they’d been in weeks.  What a difference a good night of sleep had made.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Padfoot, we have to stop meeting this way,” James said sarcastically, plopping down on the edge of Sirius’s bed in the hospital wing.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I know what you are going to say, but I don’t want to hear it. I am not ready,” Sirius said stubbornly without looking away from his textbook.  He turned a page of the book absentmindedly, probably mostly so that he had something to do that wasn’t look at James.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Padfoot,” James said gently, setting his hand on Sirius’s shoulder,  “You aren’t ready because there is a chance it doesn’t go the way you want.  But there is always going to be a chance that it doesn’t go the way you want.  So what would make you ready?  How long do you want to do this?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Bugger off,” Sirius replied, still avoiding James’s stare. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sirius,” James tried again, throwing the nickname out the window in the hopes that his friend would take him seriously, “You can’t keep going on this way.  You just can’t.  You and Remus, you fancy each other and...” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Did he say that?” Sirius interrupted, suddenly making very intense eye contact. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James frowned, “Not in so many words,” he admitted slowly.  Sirius scowled at him, disappointment visibly coloring his face before he returned his gaze to his textbook.  “But he doesn’t have to.” James continued, “I can see it.  Just like how I could tell you fancied him, remember?” James reminded him. “I was right about that.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You could still be wrong.  Even a ninety percent chance that everything goes perfectly isn’t worth the ten percent chance that I mess everything up and lose him.  I cannot lose him.” Sirius said, desperation creeping into his voice.  It was subtle, but his knuckles were white and his hands shaking slightly where they were closed on his textbook. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Pads, I really -”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Jamie,” Sirius interrupted, his voice sharp, “I love you mate, but I am incredibly behind on my homework and need to get caught up, we can talk about this later.” He said, in a tone that conveyed they absolutely would not be talking about this later.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I can’t take it anymore!” James exclaimed as he met up with Peter and Lily on his way to breakfast. “They are both so bloody stubborn, I’m going to lose my sanity.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Not much of a loss there, mate.” Peter teased.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James elbowed him.  “Cheap shot,” he muttered. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I can’t believe that people thought the Marauders were so cool - pathetic! The whole lot of you.” Lily said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Hey!” Peter exclaimed, “I have a girlfriend!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And I have you,” James said with a smile. Lily narrowed her eyes at him and he quickly blushed.  “I didn’t mean I have you of course because you are not a possession, I meant that we are in a respectful and committed relationship and - ” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, shut it,” Lily interrupted, elbowing James playfully, “I was just teasing.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I want them to be happy,” Peter said, interrupting them.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I just don’t want either of them to accidentally kill themself doing something stupid,” Lily added.  “Though, them being happy would be nice, too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Maybe it’s time to take matters into our own hands,” James said.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I like the way you think, Potter. What do you have in mind?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>Unbeknownst to James and Lily, as they were reminiscing, Remus was lying awake thinking about the exact same time in their lives.  James and Lily had gotten him and Sirius together in the first place.  </p><p>Maybe looking backward could shine some light on how to go forwards.</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Lils, what is this about?” Remus asked the next morning, irritation in his tone.  He had been gathering his books in the common room to head to the library when Lily intercepted him.  The full moon was coming and he needed to get ahead on his homework so he wouldn’t fall behind when he was inevitably laid up for a day or two while he recovered. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You promised that you would help me tutor the first years in charms and I reserved a spare classroom for this morning so we can help them with Wingardium Leviosa,” Lily replied bossily. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Does it have to be now?” He asked, “I’ve got a lot on my mind.”   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes, it has to be now,” Lily replied firmly, conveying in her tone that there was no room for negotiation.  “The classroom is reserved, and they are all there waiting already.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus groaned, running his hand through his honey-colored curls.  “I hate you right now, Lils. I’ve got so much bloody work to do.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You don’t hate me, you love me,” Lily replied, a sly smile flickering across her face before she controlled her expression.  “And you are about to love me even more.” She muttered, seizing Remus by the sleeve and tugging him through the portrait hole.  Remus squinted at her suspiciously.  He could have sworn they didn’t have plans to tutor this weekend. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He tossed his book bag over his shoulder and checked his pockets for his wand.  He could always swing by the library to do some studying after they tutored.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> As they made their way to the spare classroom where they would be meeting the first-years Remus started fussing about their tutoring session.  He usually liked to meticulously plan his tutoring sessions to ensure that he had enough material to fill the time.  “Are you, er, going to take the lead?” Remus asked, offering Lily a crooked smile.  “I forgot we were planning to do this, I’ve got nothing prepared.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Don’t worry about it, you’ll be a natural, just - uh - do and say what feels right?” Lily replied, biting back a laugh. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Is something funny?” Remus asked suspiciously.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Nope.” Lily replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “O-kay,” Remus replied, still suspicious.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When they arrived at the spare classroom that they usually used for tutoring, Lily stopped and somewhat awkwardly pulled Remus into a hug.  “Uh, thank you for helping me with this, Re,” she said.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Uh, yeah, no problem.” He muttered, confused by her odd behavior. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then Lily pulled away, holding Remus by his shoulders and peering at his face.  If Remus didn’t know any better, he would have sworn she looked nervous.  But he was the one that was usually nervous for these sessions, not Lily.  Lily fixed his amber eyes with her own vibrant green ones, “Forgive me, yeah?” she implored, before tugging him into the spare classroom before he could voice his confusion. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The classroom was empty of desks, but anything but vacant.  James and Peter were standing just inside the door and Sirius, in his dog form, was barking and chasing, what appeared to be a rabbit, around the classroom.  There wasn’t a first-year in sight.  Remus turned to look at Lily in confusion.  “What’s going on, where are the -” he started, but before he could finish his sentence James quickly tugged Lily and Peter back through the classroom door and into the corridor.  With a flourish of his wand, the door slammed shut, the doorknob on the inside disappearing.  With a second wave of his wand the rabbit that Padfoot was chasing vanished with a small pop.  With a third and final spell, James vanished the small glass window from the door and poked his head in.  He was grinning.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “James, what the hell?” Remus demanded.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Padfoot came up behind Remus and barked loudly at the door, his deep bark echoing in the classroom.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sorry, Re,” came Lily’s voice from behind James.  “This is for your own good though.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You two idiots love each other and you are both too bloody chicken to do something about it.” James interrupted loudly, muttering something about ‘Godric being ashamed’ under his breath. He narrowed his eyes at the pair of them through the hole in the door, “Deal with your pathetic selves before we snap and kill the both of you. I’m too handsome to go to prison. I’d be eaten alive, you know? You don’t want that on your conscience.” James said loudly through the hole in the door.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus’s mouth fell open, a cold sensation spreading over his skin.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A small wet sound to his right briefly pulled his attention, Padfoot’s mouth had also fallen open, his tongue lolling comically from his mouth.  In nearly any other circumstance Remus would have laughed.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m not sure I’d mind that too much right now, actually,” Remus grumbled under his breath, turning back to James.  “Seriously Prongs, let us out!” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “No,” James said firmly, “You are staying in there and we are staying out here, but we will extend you the courtesy of putting up a two-way silencing charm if you ask nicely,” James said, his eyes dancing mischievously.  He was having way too much fun. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “And for Merlin’s sake, use protection!” Peter chimed in from behind James.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus let out an extremely undignified squeak, his cheeks heating so quickly he was tempted to press his hand to them to cool them down, but he didn’t want to give James the satisfaction.  The click of nails from the floor told him that Padfoot was pacing.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Ok, enough is enough,” Remus said loudly, plunging his hand into his pocket for his wand.  There was nothing there.  “What the fuck?” he exclaimed loudly.  Finding his pocket empty of his wand was almost like waking up without a crucial limb, not that he’d ever personally experienced that.  His wand had been there though, he knew he’d checked when they had left the common room, he’d checked.  Realization crashed over him.  “LILY EVANS!” He roared. “Did you take my wand?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You’ll get it back as soon as you sort through your stuff, Re, I promise.” Lily’s voice came.  She sounded apologetic, though clearly not enough to actually return his wand.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sirius, do you have your wand?” Remus snapped at Padfoot.  The dog hung his head, his tail dropping and a small whimper escaping its mouth.  Remus softened immediately.  “Sorry,” he muttered, “this isn’t your fault.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Are we really doing this?” Remus asked through the hole in the door, his own tone far too close to desperation for his liking.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yes,” James replied happily.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus wanted to kick him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Fine,” he snapped, walking over to the far corner of the classroom, the clicking of the dog’s nails on the floor followed him.  When he reached the far corner he slid down the wall to sit with his knees pulled up in front of him.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Padfoot clicked his way over to sit next to him.  Remus sunk his fingers into the thick black hair of the dog’s neck and patted it reassuringly.  He knew that if Sirius had been in human form, this gesture would definitely be considered intimate, but somehow petting Padfoot had always felt natural.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Why are you still a bloody dog?” Remus asked, with no real irritation in his tone.  “If I have to be human, you should have to be too.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The dog shook its shaggy head slowly before the fur melted away and Sirius was sitting beside him.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m scared,” Sirius admitted, his voice small and his eyes on his fingers in his own lap.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Me too,” Remus replied quietly.  “You are my best mate, Pads.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius brought his stormy grey eyes up to meet Remus’s.  There was a small crease in his forehead, worry, and his eyes were a little more squinty than usual.  Remus watched as Sirius chewed on his bottom lip, his teeth digging into the soft pink skin.     </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A tiny bit of moisture clung to those lips, reflecting even in the low light of the classroom.  Remus felt his heart rate quicken ever so slightly.  Woah, that was definitely too much staring at Sirius’s lips.  He tore his eyes away. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You are my best mate too,” Sirius said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oi!” came James’s voice from the hole in the door, “I thought I was your best mate! Ow!” He exclaimed, “I was only joking, Lil, you didn’t have to hit me!” James protested. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Leave them alone!” came Peter’s voice. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Put up the bloody silencing charm!” Sirius barked.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I said you had to ask nicely,” James replied cockily.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “That was far nicer than I could have been,” Sirius argued. “Especially given the circumstances,” he added. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James rolled his eyes but complied, the faint hum of the Muffliato charm filling the air.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Suddenly, without the presence of the others, the moment felt impossibly heavy.  The air between them was practically vibrating.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “So uh, how’d they get you here this early on a Saturday?” Remus asked to fill the silence.  “Usually you’d be sleeping.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius rolled his eyes, “Jamie said we were going to play a prank, and I needed to be Padfoot.” He grumbled. “I should have known something was up. Evans has made him boring.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What kind of a prank would you need to be Padfoot for?” Remus asked, grateful for a lighter topic to help get them talking. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I dunno,” Sirius replied with a shrug, “We hadn’t gotten that far.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “You are an idiot.”  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah.” Sirius allowed, “I guess I really am sometimes...” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus opened his mouth to protest that he’d only been joking but Sirius was quicker.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Look, Moony,”  Sirius started, “I -” his voice caught in his throat. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus took a deep breath, letting his eyes close as he felt his chest rise with the air.  With a second deep breath, he reached out and slipped his hand into Sirius’s.  He paused a second to give Sirius a chance to pull away, even though he logically knew he wouldn’t, before giving his hand a squeeze.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> When Sirius squeezed back it was one of the most amazing things he’d ever felt. Better than the first time he successfully summoned something, even better than how he’d felt the first time he’d successfully conjured his Patronus.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It felt right.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius swallowed, his Adam’s apple visibly bobbing in his throat.  Then he shook his head, laughing a little to himself.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus raised an eyebrow at him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius smiled back crookedly, “I dunno why this is so hard,” he admitted, “especially if what they,” Sirius gestured towards the door, “said is - er - true.  Uh, is it?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus felt himself nod slowly, his field of vision bobbing slightly with the action.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Sirius,” Remus started, he paused, squaring his shoulders.  He could do this, the stakes literally couldn’t be lower.  Sirius had all but confirmed his own feelings already in his behavior.  “Sirius, I fancy you.” He blurted out.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius’s face broke into a blindingly big smile.  “Merlin.” He breathed. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Moony,” he said more loudly, “I fancy you too, a whole heck of a lot.  So much so that I may explode if you don’t kiss me. I feel like I have been waiting an eternity.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus was smiling so much it hurt.  Sirius’s face was closer now, his silver eyes sparkling.  “Whose fault is that?” Remus asked breathily, more air than words.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Oh, I don’t think we want to go down that path,” Sirius replied. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I say we blame Prongs.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Yeah, that works for me,” Sirius said, closing the remaining distance between their faces, and then, all of the sudden, they were snogging.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It was just a brush of lips at first, but it was electric.  It was nothing like all the snogs he’d imagined.  It was better.  Remus had been snogged before, but not like this.  Snogging like this was why people sometimes said that love was its own kind of magic.  This was definitely magic, there was no doubt in his mind of that.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The tingling from where Sirius’s lips met his was spreading all the way to his toes.  Slowly the pressure built as their confidence grew, their lips moving together, Sirius tongue tracing his lower lip before slipping inside.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A faint moan slipped through Sirius’s lips and Remus felt it in their kiss.  Suddenly, Remus was blindingly turned on.  He turned his body fully to face Sirius, his hands going up to tangle his fingers in the long dark hair.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He’d never been so turned on in his life.  Years of sexual tension had crested like a wave and was crashing down on them.  There was no stopping it now.  Without thinking he went up on his knees and swung a leg over to settle himself on Sirius’s lap, his hips grinding down.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius brought his hands to Remus’s hips, his finger digging in in a way that should have been painful, but Remus only wanted him to hold him tighter.  Remus hunched his shoulders, bringing one hand down to the back of Sirius’s neck so that he could pull him closer.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Remus nipped at his lip before smoothing the skin with his tongue.  Sirius’s warm fingers were sliding up the skin of Remus’s back under his jumper.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Sirius’s lips were traveling from his lips to his jaw to his neck.  When he reached the spot where his neck met his collarbone he fixed his lips on the skin and sucked.  Nothing had ever felt better.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He was vaguely aware that he was involuntarily whimpering his approval, which only spurred Sirius on.  He tipped his head back, his eyes closing as he resettled himself on Sirius’s lap, realizing suddenly that Sirius was hard beneath him.  Merlin, he was a goner.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> --- </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Outside the door, James was squealing happily as Sirius and Remus kissed for the first time.  “Fucking finally!” He exclaimed.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Lemme see!” Peter said gleefully, standing on his tiptoes to peer through the hole in the door while Lily peered over his shoulder.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “I’m so happy,” Lily said smiling broadly at the hole in the door.  “Oh my,” she breathed suddenly, “Er, maybe we should go?” she added, awkwardly. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What?” James asked. “Why?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He turned to look through the hole in the door once again, “Oh, wow,” he said, his cheeks pinking, “That, er, escalated quickly.” He muttered. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “It’s been a long time coming,” Lily replied.  She tugged Sirius’s wand from James’s pocket and slipped it under the door with Remus’s.  “Come on, let’s go,” she said. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> They turned to head back to Gryffindor tower, Lily slipping her hand into James’s.   </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Mission accomplished,” James said happily. “That there was some good Marauding.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “What are we going to say to them when they get back?” Peter asked.  “Do you reckon they’ll still be mad?” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James cracked a smile, “I don’t think they are mad anymore.  And I’m going to tell them I’m really fucking happy for them. Oh, and to hang a bloody tie on the dorm room doorknob if they are going to be getting into anything too nasty,” he said, “A tried and true system, that is, and I’ve got innocent eyes to protect.” He joked. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Peter snorted, “Innocent eyes my butt.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Very few parts of you are innocent, Potter,” Lily teased. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> James raised an eyebrow “Is that so?” He smirked, “Well I guess you’d know.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Lily smacked him playfully, Peter just groaned.   </em>
</p><p>---</p><p>“I wonder how much longer they would have gone on without one of them making the first move if we hadn’t interfered.” James mused.  </p><p>“Too long,” Lily replied seriously.  “It’s hard to believe it even got as far as it did, to be honest.”</p><p>“True,” James replied, flicking out the light on the bedside table with a casual flick of his wand.  </p><p>“If it really is starting again,” Lily said, turning to look at James. “Promise me something?”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“We are not letting it go that long again?  It was so much better once everything was straightened out.”</p><p>“Actually, it turned out to be very much not straight,” James laughed, “But your point stands, and you’ve got a deal,” he said seriously.  “I’ll be on the lookout for any weird behavior when we see them later this week.”</p><p>Lily snorted. “James, we are talking about Padfoot and Moony,” Lily replied.</p><p>James laughed.  “Oh, you knew what I meant, weird for them.” He whined.</p><p>“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” she said through her laughter, “the opening was right there.”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah.”</p><p>---</p><p>Two days after their charades night, Remus still couldn’t get the idea of marriage out of his mind.  Everywhere he looked he saw benches full of all the people that mattered to them gathering while he and Sirius wore suits.  He saw rings slipping onto fingers and cake with two plastic figurines on top.  </p><p>It was becoming an obsession.  </p><p>As they made breakfast in their flat, they moved around each other, pressing closer together than was necessary in the space, enjoying every moment.  As Remus flipped a pancake with a flick of his wand, Sirius squeezed his arse and he yelped.  He turned to reprimand the other man for distracting him while he was cooking but was met with a hard kiss.  He sighed deeply into it; this was what happiness was.  </p><p>He didn’t even care when the pancakes got burned.</p><p>As they finished cooking and sat down to breakfast, Remus ran sentences through his mind, trying to find a way to bring up the marriage topic, scrapping each idea before trying to think of another approach.  </p><p>First, all of his ideas were far too subtle.  He didn’t want to be obvious about it, but this was Sirius he was dealing with.  He loved the man, but he wasn’t exactly the king of picking up on subtle hints.  If he had been, there would be far fewer socks left on their bedroom floor.  </p><p>Then he overcorrected and all his ideas felt too aggressive and direct, so much so that he couldn’t even imagine forcing the words out of his mouth.</p><p>He didn’t know why it was so bloody difficult.  He shared everything with Sirius.  He loved him so bloody much it actually hurt, his chest tingling when he thought about their lives together.  </p><p>He and Sirius talked about all the difficult things. Sirius’s childhood and family, Remus’s lycanthropy and persistent feelings of self-doubt, and everything else that threatened to keep them up at night.  He didn’t want to hide anything from him.  He wanted Sirius to know him, inside and out, and for the most part, he did.  </p><p>Though their life together was more than he ever hoped it would be, it wasn’t picture-perfect, nothing that was real ever was.  They bickered and argued occasionally, never staying mad longer than a few hours, arguments ending with compromise and make-up sex so mindblowing that neither could muster up much regret about having a fight in the first place.  </p><p>Marriage though, marriage wasn’t something you could compromise on.  It wasn’t like bickering about what color to paint their bedroom wall and then settling on a shade in the middle.  You either did it, or you didn’t.  There was no halfway.  Sirius had a bad family life growing up.  He may not want marriage and they had never talked about it.  How had it never come up?</p><p>If Sirius didn’t want to get married, Remus was sure he’d be ok.  He’d be disappointed certainly, but not being married wouldn’t be enough of a negative to put much of a dent in all the positives he had with Sirius.  It wasn’t a dealbreaker, at least not for him. He couldn’t imagine ever wanting someone else.  Sirius was it for him.  </p><p>“I was thinking, it’s been over two years since we got together.,.” Remus said, between bites of his pancake.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Sirius replied with a small smile, a small amount of confusion in his tone, “We just had our anniversary in April,” he said, shoveling his own bite of pancake into his mouth, a small dribble of syrup dripping down his lips.  Remus wanted to lick it, but instead watched as Sirius’s tongue snaked out and swiped over his pink lips, leaving them shiny.  He bit his lip and Sirius smirked, completely aware of what he was doing.  </p><p>“That’s not even counting that time we kissed during truth or dare in third-year,” Remus said, without knowing exactly why that was relevant, but wanting to fill the silence and give himself something to think about that wasn’t Sirius’s lips.  </p><p>“Right, how could I forget,” Sirius said with a laugh, “I don’t know how I didn’t realize I wanted you right then and there, bloody fantastic kisser you are.” He said, dramatically waving his fork around.  </p><p>“Would have saved us some trouble...” Remus replied.  They faded into silence, the only sounds in the room the squeak of their utensils on their ceramic plates.  </p><p>He chanced a look at Sirius.  Sirius looked like he was on the verge of saying something before he abruptly shoveled a large bite of pancake into his mouth.  Remus watched him chew the too-large bite and then force it down in a swallow that looked painful.</p><p>“I - er - want everything with you, I wish we had figured things out sooner, I don’t want to miss anything,” Sirius said, his facial expression slightly strange.  Was he - nervous?</p><p>Judging by the way he worried his lower lip between his teeth, he was at least holding something in.  It was a distinctive look on Sirius’s ridiculously attractive face, though not one he saw often.  </p><p>But it couldn’t be what he wanted it to be, it couldn’t be the marriage topic,  the fact that that had popped into his head was merely a reflection of his own wishful thinking.  It had to be.</p><p>Remus looked at him, carefully choosing his words, “I want that too, Pads, you know that,” he said earnestly.  </p><p>Sirius smiled carefully, his facial expression still more controlled than usual.</p><p>Remus smiled back, his heart light like an owl taking flight, a message of hope clutched in its talons, maybe Sirius wanted it too, maybe they were on the same page, like they had been back in school, without even realizing it.</p><p>“I wouldn’t change anything about what we have” Sirius continued, “You are - Merlin - I wish you could see <em> you </em> , the way <em> I </em> see you.  I could never want anything different than what we have.  I still don’t feel like I deserve to be this happy sometimes...” He mused aloud.</p><p>Remus felt his heart drop as quickly as if the owl was stunned right out of the sky.  </p><p>
  <em> He could never want anything different than what we have.   </em>
</p><p>There was no way those words were meant negatively, but they stung anyway, hitting differently than Sirius might have foreseen.</p><p>“And I wish you could see <em> you </em>the way I see you, Pads.” He murmured, trying not to let any sign of his over-analysis of his boyfriend’s words show on his face.  </p><p>Did Sirius mean he didn’t want to get married because that would be a change?  Or maybe did he just mean he loved the dynamics of their relationship, and his words had no implications on marriage?  </p><p>Sirius was looking at him, his face curious, his eyes searching.  </p><p>He forced his lips into a smile, his brain still frantically hyper analyzing Sirius’s words.  </p><p>Sirius frowned slightly and put his fork down on the table next to his plate. “Er - are Prongs and Lily still coming over this afternoon?” Sirius asked.</p><p>“Mhmm,” Remus replied, sending their dishes to the sick with a wave of his wand.  </p><p>---</p><p>When she and James knocked on the door of Remus and Sirius’s flat, Lily was fully prepared to watch her friends carefully for any sign, even the most subtle, that she and James had been right about what was going on with Remus and Sirius.  </p><p>However, it quickly became apparent that she need not be prepared to look for subtle signs.  </p><p>As Remus was finishing preparing a kettle of tea, Sirius sent her and James’s coats to the closet with a casual flick of his wand before he settled down at the coffee table in the sitting room.  </p><p>Lily followed Sirius as James offered Remus a hand with the tea, pulling mugs from the cabinet.</p><p>Lily watched curiously as Sirius surreptitiously looked around to see if he was being watched before pulling a magazine from his bag.  His eyes locked on Lily’s and he frowned, before shrugging and pressing his finger to his lips in the universal gesture for <em> shhhh </em>.</p><p>Lily raised her eyebrows in question, but Sirius steadfastly ignored her.</p><p>Remus scurried over to the coffee table with the four mugs of tea suspended in the air with his wand and the kettle in his other hand. As he distributed the mugs, his eyes caught on the magazine Sirius had put on the coffee table.  </p><p>It was a wedding magazine, the front cover full of a photo of a beautiful woman in a stunning white dress.  One of the smaller photos on the right hand side was of an attractive gay couple, the taller man pressing a chaste kiss to the shorter man’s cheek.</p><p>Lily narrowed her eyes at Sirius.  Her vindication at such an obvious sign that they had been right muted by how truly pitiful their friends were.</p><p>“What’s this?” Remus said, picking the magazine up and peering at it closely, his eyes narrowed and his face impossible to read.</p><p>Sirius was watching him carefully.</p><p>“Oh, that’s Lily’s,” Sirius lied smoothly, cocking an eyebrow at Lily challengingly, as if daring her to disagree.  </p><p>James caught Lily’s eye and bit back a smile. </p><p>Remus raised his own eyebrow at Sirius in response.  He looked slightly suspicious, or maybe it was hopeful, it was hard to say for sure.  </p><p>“Well, you don’t need this anymore, do you?” Remus asked Lily slowly, picking up the magazine and moving like he was going to toss it in the rubbish bin.</p><p>“I suppose not,” Lily said, shooting another glare at Sirius.  </p><p>“Wait no,” Sirius blurted, “Er, maybe there is someone else that needs it...” He said, quickly picking up his mug of steaming tea and bringing it to his lips.</p><p>“Someone else?” Remus questioned, his voice a slightly higher pitch than normal.  “Who?”</p><p>Sirius started to answer but was cut off as he choked dramatically on his hastily taken mouthful of too-hot tea, coughing and sputtering.  </p><p>James patted his back, a little too hard to be strictly soothing.  “You ok there, Pads?”</p><p>Sirius coughed again, “Er yeah, just - hot.” he choked.  </p><p>Remus carefully set the magazine back on the table and settled down on the couch on Sirius’s other side, resting his palm on Sirius’s thigh.  </p><p>“I don’t think I ever looked through this one before our wedding,” James said, his mouth twitching as he tried to hold back a smile.  “Odd, I didn’t think I’d missed any of your magazines, Lils. I had to have looked through at least twenty of them, where were you hiding this one?”</p><p>Sirius blushed slightly.  Lily pinched her nose to hide her own face.</p><p>Remus frowned thoughtfully. </p><p>“Anything you would change about the wedding in hindsight?” James asked jokingly.  “Anything I missed out on having not seen this one?”</p><p>“Not a thing,” Lily said, leaning over to give James a kiss. </p><p>“What about you, Moony, what would your version of an ideal wedding be like?” James asked before hiding his face behind his own mug of tea, much more gracefully than Sirius had.</p><p>“Your wedding was lovely,” Remus replied honestly, “it’s definitely a rather personal thing though,” he mused aloud, “I think there are many ways to do it well, whatever floats your boat, I suppose. Me personally, I think outdoor weddings are the way to go for sure,” he acknowledged, tipping his mug of tea at James and Lily, who had, in fact, had an outdoor wedding themselves.  </p><p>“I think I’m partial to understated colors for the flowers, gardenias perhaps?” Remus continued, “Not that the brighter colors aren’t lovely of course,” he added, smiling sheepishly at James and Lily.  James’s mouth had fallen open but Remus didn’t notice and kept talking. “Not too many flowers though… I also think a small guest list, like you did, is also probably the way to go, I personally don’t know that many people, and I think I’d only want the ones that really matter to us there… more intimate that way.” He blushed slightly at his use of the word intimate. “Mostly, I just think a casual atmosphere is the goal probably, some live music and all. Oh!” he exclaimed, “and maroon color accents would be nice, maroon for Gryffindor and you look dashing in -” He looked up at Sirius and stopped speaking abruptly when he saw his face.   </p><p>Sirius was positively gaping at him.  Remus blushed a vibrant red, much like the maroon color accents he’d just been touting for his own hypothetical wedding, “But I haven’t really thought about it of  course.” He added quickly, standing swiftly and scurrying over towards the kitchen, “More tea anyone?” He called from the kitchen.  </p><p>Lily looked at Sirius, he looked dumbfounded, and was that a touch of happiness on his face?</p><p>“The kettle is in here, Moony,” James called, barely containing his own delight at the turn their conversation had taken.  </p><p>“Right, of course it is,” He cleared his throat loudly, “Er - can I get anyone any biscuits?” He offered. </p><p>James glanced at Lily who shook her head, her stomach had been feeling a bit touchy lately.  Thanks, Re, We’re all set,” James called.</p><p>---</p><p>“We were definitely right about what they are on about,” James said that night once they’d gotten back to their own flat and were settling in for bed.</p><p>“I almost felt bad for Remus,” Lily admitted, “it’s been ages since I’ve seen him that red.”</p><p>James laughed, “Did you see Padfoot’s face? He looked like Moony had grown another head but was still somehow happy about it.”</p><p>Lily burst out laughing.  “Honestly, even if that did happen Padfoot would still love the pants right off of him.”</p><p>“Well, maybe they’ll have made some progress by Friday’s game night.” She mused.</p><p>“I wouldn’t hold your breath…” James said.  </p><p>“Oh, I’m definitely not.”</p><p>“Oh! I forgot, Padfoot and I are going flying on Wednesday, maybe I can try to talk to him one on one then.”</p><p>“Couldn’t hurt,” Lily replied through her yawns.  “Night Mr. Potter,” she said, dropping a kiss on his cheek.</p><p>“Night, Mrs. Potter,” James replied happily.  </p><p>---</p><p>After his mortifying monologue about his ideal wedding during brunch with James and Lily, Remus decided to take a break from all the wedding stuff.  Not that his thought processes had actually complied with that resolve, but at least his thought processes were silent.    </p><p>His mind kept helpfully providing him with the image of what Sirius’s face had looked like when he’d caught himself going on and on about weddings.  He’d looked shocked for sure, but had he also been horrified?  He couldn’t be sure, it had all happened so quickly, his mouth a train with no conductor, speeding down the tracks at a dangerous speed.  </p><p>He knew he’d been thinking about weddings quite a bit, but he wasn’t entirely sure where the details of his speech had come from, or how the words had made it out of his mouth without his brain catching on to how much he was sounding like a lovesick school girl.    </p><p>The new plan was to give Sirius at least a week to recover from his rant.  </p><p>For the most part, following through on his plan was going quite well, errant thought processes aside.  Sure, Remus found his brain wandering to some wedding-themed thoughts throughout the day on occasion, but he had a new gig freelancing for a publisher, so he could distract himself reasonably easily by throwing himself into work.  It wasn’t like he didn’t have any practice hiding his feelings and thoughts in books. He had made it through multiple years at Hogwarts, madly in love with his roommate without doing anything about it, after all.</p><p>Besides, he liked his work well enough, the article he had been editing, about the factors influencing the strength of shield charms, had truly been fascinating.  </p><p>Sirius was in training at St. Mungo’s to become a healer and had an odd work schedule.  He’d been around their flat most of the day but he had left Remus to his work better than usual, something Remus was desperately trying to appreciate, and not worry that it might be a result of his outburst.</p><p>“I read an interesting article while you were working today,” Sirius said suddenly at dinner, not making eye contact as he busied himself serving them both with the kidney pie he’d prepared.</p><p>“Oh, what was it about?”  </p><p>“Oh! Um,” Sirius coughed, visibly scrambling to come up with words far more than someone who had brought up the topic should, “I - uh - think it was called ‘The Young Witch and Wizard’s Guide to Smart Financial Decisions,’ or something like that.”  A faint blush was coloring his pale cheeks for some reason.  </p><p>Remus cocked his head, “Huh?” Smart Financial Decisions wasn’t exactly a topic that Sirius seemed likely to describe as ‘interesting’.</p><p>“It’s never too early to start planning for the future, Moony.” Sirius explained, “I dunno about you but I plan for a nice long retirement, on our own private island of course.”</p><p>“Private island?” Remus said, raising an eyebrow.  </p><p>“Yup,” Sirius said happily, “We are going to need privacy so I can have my wicked way with you without worrying about prying eyes.” He teased, obviously let his gaze linger on Remus’s lips, his grey eyes dancing.  </p><p>“Padfoot, you know how I feel about beaches,” Remus said, “that one time the summer after school was enough beach for me for a lifetime.  I’m convinced I still have sand in my hair.”</p><p>Sirius snorted. “And I still maintain it was totally worth it,” he said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.  </p><p>“Retirement though?  We aren’t even twenty yet?” Remus argued, fighting back the anxiety that always reared its head when he was thinking about gold.  Sirius never worried about money, but Remus certainly did. </p><p>How could he not?  Sirius had a sizable inheritance from his uncle and would make a comfortable salary as a healer.  He, on the other hand, had no family gold to speak of and limited job prospects.  </p><p>Whenever they discussed gold Sirius was incredibly reassuring, making sure to repeatedly make the point that gold was only one of many things that were brought into a relationship.  It had been getting easier, but it would likely always be a somewhat stressful topic, especially since Sirius usually had a cavalier attitude about gold.  </p><p>“The article went on about how it’s important to start early.” Sirius waved his hand around, “Something about compound interest and rates of return, I dunno.”</p><p>“So we are supposed to start saving now?” Remus asked, feeling lost in the conversation.  Why in Merlin’s name were they talking about this?</p><p>“The article was just talking about all these tips, you know?  They could be good for us.”</p><p>“Such as?”</p><p>“Well, we are supposed to save one-third of our pay,” Sirius started, “for rainy days.” He glanced at Remus, in a way that was - almost nervous?  “And the article also suggested keeping track of how much gold we spend on different expense categories.”</p><p>Remus hummed in agreement.  He had to admit, that sounded like a pretty good idea.  </p><p>“Did you know that married couples also save more money as compared to unmarried couples?” Sirius asked, not meeting his eyes.</p><p>Remus froze, “Is that something from the article?” he asked slowly.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Sirius replied. “Like uh - a fun fact.” He repeated, busying himself taking a second portion of the kidney pie.</p><p>“Yeah,” Remus said slowly, “So - uh - how exactly do married couples save more money?”</p><p>Sirius’s eyes widened slightly before he forced his face into a smile, “Er - good question, Moony, I can’t say I recall the details,” he said, the only sign of distress in his features was a small furrow in his eyebrows, “but I think it had something to do with only maintaining one household...”</p><p>“What?” Remus asked incredulously.</p><p>Sirius frowned thoughtfully, “I suppose that doesn’t make much sense does it?” he allowed with a sheepish smile, rubbing the space between his eyes with his fingers.</p><p>Remus laughed, still trying to make sense of their conversation.  The conversation felt charged somehow, was this in response to his outburst at brunch somehow?  “We - er - already live together, Pads?” he asked.  “That’s only one household.”</p><p>“Right,” Sirius replied.  “Well, er - that’s good then, we are already ahead of the game.” He offered up a smile that only looked a little bit forced.</p><p>Remus smiled back at Sirius, he didn’t know what exactly they were talking about, or why, but that didn’t stop it from being funny.  “Since when is being married a prerequisite for living together? What year was that article even from?” He asked, smiling crookedly.</p><p>“I guess the article after this one about how to be a good housewife witch should have tipped me off,” he joked.</p><p>Remus burst out laughing.  </p><p>“I guess it wasn’t that interesting of an article after all,” Sirius said between his own laughs.  “Most of the tips aren’t really my style anyway. I mean, can you see me tracking everything I spend gold on? I’m way too impulsive for that.”  Sirius was looking at him, his expression strange.  His mouth was laughing but his eyes looked slightly frantic.  </p><p>The tips weren’t his style.  </p><p>One of the tips was that married couples saved more money.  </p><p>Was Sirius trying to say that marriage was not his style?</p><p>Remus shoveled another bite of pie into his mouth, his mind whirring.  </p><p>Once dinner had ended they quickly spelled the dishes clean and settled down in their bedroom for a quiet night in, just like most weeknights.  Remus pulled out a thick volume on shield charms to do some research for the article he was editing while Sirius put on one of his muggle records.</p><p>As the music filled their flat, Sirius slipped into bed next to him, casually throwing his arm around Remus’s shoulders.  </p><p>Remus hadn’t made it very far into his book when Sirius absentmindedly started walking his fingers up and down the bare skin of his neck.  </p><p>A shiver ran down Remus’s spine that had absolutely nothing to do with the temperature.  He glanced at Sirius quickly out of the corner of his eye, he looked to be lost in thought.  </p><p>“I can’t focus with you doing that,” Remus said, his words more breathy than he would have liked.  He had a sneaking suspicion that Sirius knew exactly what he was doing.  </p><p>Sirius laughed, “I was counting on that,” he said cheekily.  </p><p>Remus snapped his book shut and set it down on the bedside table more roughly than necessary.  “Something else I should be focused on?” He asked with a smirk.</p><p>Sirius nodded solemnly, “I’ve got a - uh - very big problem,” he said suggestively, his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth, his eyes dancing.</p><p>“Surely you mean an average-sized problem at best?” He teased, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.  </p><p>Sirius gasped dramatically, “Moony!” he exclaimed, his eyes still smiling.</p><p>Remus laughed, “Get over here you idiot,” he said, tugging Sirius onto his lap and tugging his boyfriend's shirt off over his head.  </p><p>Sirius let himself be tugged and helpfully held his arms up, dropping to his elbows to kiss Remus softly as soon as he was free of his shirt.  Remus sighed happily into the kiss, his fingers going up to tangle themselves in Sirius’s hair.  </p><p>The kiss heated up until it was searing and he could feel it in his soul.  Their teeth clashed and their lips moving together in sync.  </p><p>Eventually, Remus pulled away gasping, having thoroughly exhausted his oxygen supply, “You mentioned you had a problem?” he breathed out, pushing Sirius up and bringing his fingers to his boyfriend's pajama bottoms.  </p><p>Sirius nodded, “But first we’ve gotta do something about how overdressed you are.” He replied.</p><p>Remus chuckled, but it came out thick and deep with lust.  He quickly complied, ridding himself of his clothing and letting himself get lost in the other man in the best way possible. </p><p>---</p><p>When James met Sirius for their weekly flight over the countryside, he was under Lily’s strict instructions to feel him out and see where he was at with regard to marriage.  Lily had also encouraged some gentle nudging, or perhaps even a swift kick to the arse if the opportunity arose.</p><p>He had thought about a few ways to bring up the topic, but his preparation didn’t turn out to be necessary in the slightest.</p><p>“So how’s married life treating you, Jamie boy?” Sirius asked as they kicked off the ground.</p><p>James smiled.  “It’s perfect.” He answered honestly.  “It’s funny, I’ve known since third-year that I wanted to marry Lily, and now that we are here, I just can’t stop thinking about the rest of our lives together, you know?”</p><p>Sirius frowned softly, “No, but I want to,” he admitted, almost so quietly that the words were whisked away with the wind.  “But I am so happy for you two,” he added quickly before James could respond.</p><p>“You want to,” James repeated. <em> Wow, that was easier than we thought it would be.  </em></p><p>Sirius frowned at him, “Merlin, Jamie, I never thought about it and now I can’t stop.” He said, gesturing wildly with both hands, holding his broom between his knees.  </p><p>“Padfoot, both hands on your broom mate, you’ve not got the best track record for flying and thinking about Moony.”</p><p>Sirius glowered at him but returned both of his hands to his broom handle muttering something about that being “only one time.”  </p><p>“I’ve got a novel idea here, mate,” James said, ignoring Sirius’s muttering. “Why don’t you, I dunno, tell your boyfriend how you feel?”</p><p>“I <em> knew </em> you were going to say that,” Sirius whined. </p><p>“Well, it’s good advice,” James argued.  </p><p>“It’s also really fucking scary,” Sirius said earnestly, biting his lip as he flew, the wind making his dark hair streak out behind him.    </p><p>“Why though?”</p><p>Sirius frowned. “Because -” He answered, “Because I love him.  Because he may not want to.  Because things are so perfect the way they are, is it really worth risking the balance we have?  Is a ten percent chance that he might want it too, worth risking him feeling trapped, or I dunno...”</p><p>“I feel like I’ve heard that rubbish ten percent logic business before mate, remember how that worked out?” Sirius quirked his lips.  “Besides, do you really feel like things are that fragile?”</p><p>Sirius looked thoughtful, “Not really,” he said slowly, “No, they definitely aren’t.” he allowed.</p><p>“Then what’s the problem?”</p><p>“I dunno, maybe it’s just better to wait and see if he brings it up?”</p><p>“Because that worked so well last time?”</p><p>“Ughh.” </p><p>They flew for a while in silence, the wind whipping at their hair.  </p><p>“If you tell him, he could be your fiance,” James said.</p><p>Sirius gulped, “Damn I like the way that sounds.  Don’t you think Moony would look right fit in a tux?” Sirius asked.  </p><p>James held back a groan, “Yeah, of course, Moony is right fit, but I think all that matters is that you think so.”</p><p>“Yeah, scratch that last bit. Back off Prongs, he’s all mine,” Sirius said with a smile.</p><p>James laughed.</p><p>Sirius looked off into the distance, his face almost love-struck enough for one to reasonably suspect a love potion overdose, if one didn’t know Sirius that was.  “I can see him now. Who do you think would be the one to walk down the aisle? I can’t say I really care much either way, I suppose.” He mused aloud.  </p><p>“Padfoot, I say this with love,” James said, turning his broom to hang in the air, leveling Sirius with a hard look, “You are bloody pathetic.”</p><p>“Oh, you’re one to talk,” Sirius said, glowering.  “I listened to months of planning before your wedding.”</p><p>“I was actually engaged,” James argued.</p><p>Sirius rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Besides, these are real questions for us!” He exclaimed, “I dunno how these things work with two blokes.”</p><p>“I think they work however makes you two happy,” James said, setting off again before his patience wore too thin and he became the reason Sirius fell off his broom today.  “And, I think you should be having this conversation with him, and then you’d actually know.”</p><p>“I’ll think about it,” Sirius replied.</p><p>They flew for a while in silence again, James looping through the air, smiling at the freedom of the whole experience.  There was nothing like flying.  </p><p>“You really think he’d say yes?” Sirius asked suddenly.</p><p>“Yes, I really do.”</p><p>Sirius nodded.  </p><p>“Thanks, Prongs. Don’t know what I’d do without you.”</p><p>James smiled, “I dunno what you’d do without me either.”</p><p>As they flew back to Godric’s Hollow, James couldn’t help but be cautiously optimistic that he’d done a satisfactory job of nudging Sirius in the right direction.  Sirius was smart and charismatic and capable, surely he could take it from here.</p><p>---</p><p>Unfortunately, two weeks passed without any developments.  Neither James nor Lily could claim to be surprised by the lack of progress, but they were still disappointed, especially James.</p><p>“You’re having tea with Remus tomorrow, right?”</p><p>“Mhmm,” Lily nodded.  </p><p>“Maybe you can talk some sense into him, he was always the most logical Marauder,” James said hopefully.</p><p>“You say that like it’s some sort of achievement,” Lily teased.</p><p>“Hey!” James exclaimed.</p><p>---</p><p>“So, Remus,” Lily started, fixing her green eyes on Remus’s face.  “How have you been?” She asked as they settled down at the coffee table at his and Sirius’s flat.  </p><p>Remus smiled mildly, “I’ve been doing pretty well.  Can I get you some tea?” </p><p>“I’d love some tea.”</p><p>Remus immediately set about making tea. “How is your potions research going?” He asked tentatively.  Lily was working with a small team of witches and wizards to develop a potion to ease werewolf transformations.  </p><p>Lily lit up in the way that one only does when they truly love their work, “Oh, it’s going really well actually.  You know I don’t mind if you ask about it?”</p><p>Remus smiled sheepishly, “Ah, I know, I just don’t want to put any pressure on you.”</p><p>“I like talking about my work.  I feel like we are actually getting close to a breakthrough.” She said with a smile.  It was true, talking about her research was one of her favorite topics, but she had a mission today.</p><p>“I was actually talking about my research with Alice Longbottom the other day,” Lily said, “I hadn’t seen her or Frank in a while, but she may be joining the team.”</p><p>Remus raised his eyebrows, “Wow, I imagine she’d be quite the valuable addition,” Remus said honestly, “she was always top of her class in Potions if I recall correctly.”</p><p>Lily smiled, “She was, she actually helped me a bit when I had questions back in school, she’s a hard worker too, we just have to iron out the details but she seemed really interested.”</p><p>Lily glanced at Remus, he was looking thoughtful, chewing on his lip like he was trying not to smile.  No doubt thinking about the fact that the more talented witches and wizards that were working on a potion for the Werewolves, the better. </p><p>“She also mentioned that she and Frank are thinking about getting married,” Lily added, carefully watching Remus’s face for his reaction.  It was true, Alice had briefly mentioned that she and Frank had been talking about getting married.  It seemed there was a small disagreement about how to proceed should they go ahead and get engaged.  Alice was partial to eloping to keep things simple while Mrs. Longbottom kept expressing extreme amounts of interest in planning the wedding of a century for them, even though she didn’t yet know they were even talking about getting engaged.  Frank’s ideal solution hadn’t come up during the discussion, but somehow it didn’t seem to be all that relevant.  </p><p>“Oh?” Remus cocked an eyebrow, “How lovely for them,” he replied evasively, busying himself topping off both of their mugs with more tea.  Lily raised her eyebrows, refusing to look away or fill the, increasingly awkward, silence.  </p><p>Remus glanced at Lily, quickly looking away when her green eyes flashed. </p><p>Lily watched his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallowed.  He opened his mouth again, soundlessly moving his mouth like he wanted to speak, but didn’t know what to say. “I suppose we are really at that age,” he offered, his eyes flitting around somewhat nervously, “I imagine we’ll be hearing about more and more weddings...” </p><p>“Mhmm,” Lily murmured, still refusing to look away.    </p><p>Remus sighed audibly, folding his hands on his lap, “Honestly Lil, you have all the subtlety of a stupefy to the chest sometimes...”</p><p>“You’re assuming that I was intending to be subtle.” She countered.  </p><p>Remus sighed again, his shoulders hunching slightly in defeat.  “Is this about my little speech at brunch?” He asked.</p><p>“Yes.  But it’s not only about that, you’ve seemed off for weeks. Sirius, too.”</p><p>“He has?” Remus asked, perking up noticeably. “You’ve noticed that?” </p><p>“Even James has noticed, love,” Lily said, patting Remus on the shoulder maternally.  </p><p>Remus sighed, “I feel like he’s giving me all these mixed signals,” he said bitterly, throwing his hands up into the air, palms turned to the ceiling.  </p><p>“You are dating Sirius Black, Remus.”</p><p>“I’m aware,” Remus replied dryly, “Your point?”</p><p>Lily exhaled but held in the laugh that threatened to escape with the breath, “I just don’t think you should spend so much time overanalyzing everything that he says and does. Just talk to him.”</p><p>Remus ran his hands back through his hair, anxiety written all over his face.</p><p>“He loves you, Remus. I don’t think a thing in the world could change that.”</p><p>Remus smiled weakly, “I don’t know how I got so lucky.”</p><p>“I imagine he wonders the same thing about himself.  So when are you going to do something about it?”</p><p>“I told you, Lils, the way things are now, I don’t know how I got so lucky. Why mess with success?  Why risk making him uncomfortable?  Besides, he does everything I ask, no matter what, no matter how...” Remus suddenly flushed scarlet.  </p><p>Lily groaned.  “Thank you for that little insight into your sex life,” she replied.  </p><p>Remus rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. </p><p>“Seriously though, I really don’t want to abuse that. I don’t want him to agree to marry me to make me happy. I want him to want it too.  He has to be the one to bring it up.” </p><p>“What if he’s too nervous to make you uncomfortable?” Lily countered.</p><p>“This is Sirius we are talking about,” Remus replied, “he’s easily the gutsier of the two of us.”</p><p>“You can’t think of a single time your idiot of a boyfriend was scared to broach a topic?” Lily asked skeptically.  </p><p>Remus scrunched up his face but ignored the question.  They both knew the answer.</p><p>“I don’t want to bugger this up, besides,” he said, pointing a finger at Lily accusingly, “your husband made it abundantly clear back in school that if either of us bollocks this up he’d make us more miserable than the Azkaban inmates.”</p><p>Lily rolled her eyes. Remus was scrambling, refusing to be backed into a corner, even when the walls had already closed in around him.  </p><p>“Look, would it be nice, sure.  But I don’t need it. I will be ok if we don’t.”  </p><p>“Are you shooting for OK, or are you shooting for happiness?”</p><p>“Honestly Lils, I really am happy.”  He replied, his eyes shooting over to the door as it banged open and Sirius stepped inside the flat wearing his mediwizard robes.  </p><p>“We aren’t done here, Re,” Lily replied quietly, “I am personally affronted that you are trying to rob me of my chance to be your best woman with your pure ridiculousness.”</p><p>Remus ignored her, “How was your day, babe?” He called, leaping to his feet.  </p><p>Sirius smiled broadly, “Pretty great!” He answered cheerfully, “I’m really enjoying my rotation with the mind healers.  How was your day?”  He asked, crossing the apartment and pulling Remus in for a hug, “Nice to see you, Lily,” he added as he pressed a kiss to Remus’s cheek.</p><p>Lily smiled a greeting but internally sighed.  Now that Sirius was home there was no way she’d be able to press the topic with Remus, not that she had been getting very far anyway.</p><p>---</p><p>“So how did things go with Moony?”</p><p>“About as well as expected,” Lily admitted.  “He didn’t deny the fact that he wants to get married, but he isn’t going to be the one to bring it up.”</p><p>James groaned, “Yeah, I feel like that’s pretty much where Padfoot is as well.”</p><p>“I feel like we may need to intervene again,” Lily admitted.  “We promised we wouldn’t let things go too far this time and they are both so bloody stubborn.”</p><p>“I think there is a chance they’d get there themselves if we left them alone, but it’s just so painful to watch them,” James whined.  “Besides, I don’t want to have already gone grey in the wedding photos.”</p><p>Lily laughed, “Fair enough, though I do think you’d absolutely rock the salt and pepper look.” She teased.  </p><p>James smiled, his eyes sparkling with happiness, “Ok, so what do you think we should do?”</p><p>Lily smiled slyly, “Well, as you know, I’ve been working on our Christmas shopping and though I found an excellent present for Peter, I haven’t gotten anything for Sirius or Remus yet…”</p><p>“Oh?”</p><p>“I think I know just how we should end the suffering.”  </p><p>---</p><p>The very next weekend Lily and James decided the time had come to put their friends out of their misery.  Clearly, they needed help.</p><p>Sirius apparated to a park under the guise of meeting James, but when he arrived, James was nowhere in sight.  </p><p>Remus showed up in the very same park not a minute later, glancing around for Lily, who he was supposed to be meeting, but who also appeared to be absent.</p><p>Remus’s eyes fell on a confused looking Sirius, his heart leaping.  For some reason, this felt familiar...</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Sirius asked.</p><p>“Lily asked me to meet her for a walk,” he said, “She said she’s been going stir crazy getting their new place set up.”</p><p>“And Prongs asked me if I wanted to go flying...” Sirius said slowly.  </p><p>Sirius pressed his lips together, “Do you know what’s going on?” he asked suspiciously.  </p><p>“I only know what you know,” he replied nervously, shifting his weight back and forth over his feet.  He was wary of whatever Lily might have planned for them.  She hadn’t seemed anywhere close to letting the whole marriage thing go after their chat.  </p><p>“Are you having deja vu right now?” Sirius asked cocking his head, his eyes slowly widening.  </p><p>Remus nodded slowly, “Er, maybe we should just go...”</p><p>Suddenly James and Lily apparated into the park with two soft pops.  Lily looked like she was on a mission, and James was smiling wickedly.  That couldn’t be good.</p><p>“What is going on?” Sirius demanded.  “I thought we were going flying!”</p><p>“Pads, I love you, but shut it,” James said quickly.  </p><p>“Ok, listen up you two,” Lily instructed, taking a seat at one of the benches of the picnic table in the park, staring at the pair of them intently.  “Sit.” She instructed.</p><p>Remus felt himself comply, feeling strangely out of his body as he swung his legs through the bench of the picnic table across from Lily, folding his hands in front of him as he waited for the other shoe to drop.</p><p>“No,” Sirius argued, “Not until you tell me what is going on!” He said stubbornly.  </p><p>“Sirius, just take a seat,” James said, “this will be painless,” he said with a smile, clearly enjoying himself.  Sirius’s lips tightened slightly and James’s face quickly softened, picking up on his friend’s anxiety with the situation. “I promise, mate.” He added.</p><p>“No,” Sirius said, folding his arms and shooting James a defiant look.</p><p>Lily caught Remus’s eye and raised her eyebrows at him, silently telling him he needed to get Sirius to sit.  Remus shot her a warning look but acquiesced.  </p><p>“Padfoot, will you please sit?” Remus asked quietly.  He thought he knew what was going on, and maybe, just maybe, it would be ok, but even if he was wrong, there was nothing to be gained by delaying the inevitable.  </p><p>Sirius’s eyes snapped to Remus’s and Remus saw him take a deep breath.  </p><p>“Yeah, okay.” </p><p>As stubborn as Sirius could be, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Remus, and all four of them knew it.  Sirius slipped into the bench next to Remus, his hair swinging over his shoulders and sending a wave of his spicy cologne into the air.  Remus took a deep breath, letting the scent fill his nostrils.  It was going to be fine.  He wrapped his arm around Sirius’s waist, giving him a squeeze.</p><p>James slipped into the bench across from them next to Lily, still smiling in a way that Remus was conditioned to believe meant he’d soon be receiving detention.  “You two are absolute dunderheads,” James exclaimed, “And apparently neither of you learned your lesson the first time around, which is really quite pathetic and Godric is rolling over in his -”</p><p>“I think you’re getting a little off-topic, dear.” Lily interrupted, rapping her fingers on the picnic table in a gesture that made Remus think of Professor McGonagall. “Not that I can say I disagree,” she added under her breath, visibly resisting the urge to roll her eyes.  </p><p>Lily plunged her hand into the pocket of her jumper, “The point is, I’d better bloody well be your best woman, Remus,” she said firmly, opening her palm and depositing two shiny rings on the picnic table.  </p><p>Remus froze, following the rings with his eyes, his breath catching in his throat.  Rings?</p><p>He felt Sirius stiffen almost imperceptibly beside him.</p><p>“And I fully expect to be your best man of course,” James interrupted, “I suppose Pete can be the ring bearer or the justice of the peace or an usher or something.”</p><p>“If you decide to have one of those of course,” Lily interrupted, “We know Remus is partial to small, informal, outdoor ceremonies, and,” she smirked, “gardenias.”</p><p>Remus felt his cheeks flush but he couldn’t rip his eyes away from the rings on the table.  They were bright and reflective in the light.  </p><p>“You two may be ridiculous, but we love you anyway. More importantly, you love each other,” Lily said. </p><p>“And we need you to deal with your shit before we lose our minds.” James interrupted. “Those,” he said, inclining his head at the rings on the picnic table, “are your bloody Christmas presents, don’t expect anything else.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, they are white gold, not silver,” Lily added, nodding at Remus. Remus still felt stunned, unsure if he wanted to smack James and Lily, or kiss them.  </p><p>Remus chanced a glance at Sirius.  His eyes looked just a little bit more wet than usual and his body was silent and still, the only visible movement coming from the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.  Remus let his gaze linger.  Sirius turned to look, their eyes coming together almost magnetically. </p><p>“You are so unbelievably lucky to have the pair of us as friends,” James said, looking between them and smiling happily.  </p><p>“We are,” Remus breathed.</p><p>“We’ll catch you two later, I reckon you have some - er - celebrating or something to do. Please do remember that you are in public though.” He smiled wickedly.  “And,” he said, nodding at Sirius as he climbed to his feet, “ I’m your best man, no matter what Pete says!”</p><p>Sirius nodded somewhat robotically. </p><p>James and Lily disappeared with two faint pops.  </p><p>When they were gone, Remus turned to look at Sirius.  </p><p>“You want to get married?” he asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper. </p><p>“Yeah, I really do,” Sirius admitted, “I know what they said, but if you don’t want to -”</p><p>“Oh, thank fuck,” Remus interrupted, pulling Sirius into a hug and burying his face in the other man's long dark hair.  </p><p>Sirius pulled away after a minute, holding Remus by the shoulders to get a better look at his face.  “You too?” He asked, a single eyebrow raised, his eyes full of hope.</p><p>“Yeah,” Remus breathed.  “Merlin, Padfoot, how could I not?  You make me happier than I think I deserve to be.  You make the darkest days brighter.  I never thought I wanted to get married,  I dunno, maybe I felt like if I did, we’d end up like my parents but that doesn’t matter…” He smiled shyly, “I really want the world to know you are mine, and I am yours.”</p><p>“I want that too,” Sirius said, a single tear slipping from the corner of his eye and rolling down his cheek.  “You <em> see </em> me,” Sirius breathed.  “Not who people think I am, not who people want me to be, not even who I want to be...  You see <em> me </em>, who I am, and somehow you still love me.  I will never get it.”  </p><p>Remus reached out and wiped the tear off of Sirius’s cheek with his thumb.  His eyes were just a little bit more watery than usual, a sparkling and shiny grey, like pavement in the rain.  </p><p>“You wouldn’t change anything about our relationship.” Remus quoted. “For fucks sake Padfoot, I thought that was your way of saying you didn’t want to get married.”</p><p>Sirius smiled sheepishly, “I was just trying to tell you I love you,” he muttered.  </p><p>Remus smiled. “Next time you can just use good old fashioned English,” he teased, “But love you too,” he added, pressing a kiss to the other man’s cheek.</p><p>“That magazine, it was mine,” Sirius admitted suddenly.  </p><p>Remus quirked his lips in amusement, “I was hoping it might be... It was just a little convenient that the one magazine Lily left was the only one I’ve ever seen with a gay couple on the cover.”</p><p>“Maybe that was a little too obvious,” Sirius mused. </p><p>“I’d argue it wasn’t obvious enough,” Remus said wryly.  </p><p>“Seriously though,” Sirius said, “You can’t imagine how difficult it was to find a magazine with a gay couple on the cover! What is wrong with this world?  I did get hit on at least four times as I was browsing that section though.” He smiled. </p><p>“Of course you did,” Remus grumbled.  He cocked his head, “Maybe we should tell Pete to go hang out in the wedding section,” he said thoughtfully.  </p><p>Sirius chuckled.</p><p>Suddenly Remus burst out laughing.  Sirius raised an eyebrow questioningly.</p><p>“Married - couples - save - money,” Remus gasped out through his laughter. Merlin, it’s all so obvious now.  </p><p>Sirius laughed sheepishly, “Yeah, that was pretty mortifying,” he admitted, “You probably won’t believe it based on how it went, but I thought through how that conversation would go at least 5 times and it really seemed like a good idea at the time.”</p><p>They laughed together, Remus pulling Sirius in for a hug.  “Don’t worry,” he whispered, his lips tickling his fiance’s ear, “you have other redeeming qualities,” he teased.</p><p>Remus felt Sirius’s returning laugh shake through his body as the other man burrowed into his chest happily.  </p><p>“Why are we like this?” Sirius asked suddenly, pulling back so he could make eye contact.</p><p>Remus smiled wryly.  “I dunno, I suppose it’s possible neither of us feels like we deserve the other, or maybe things are just so good, neither of us wants to risk rocking the boat… I dunno though.”</p><p>“I like that explanation, that things are just too good,” Sirius said, his cocky smirk spreading across his face.</p><p>“Me too.” Remus admitted, “Come here, you idiot.” He said, plucking the rings off the picnic table. They felt cool in his hand, but they quickly warmed up.  </p><p>He peered at them closely.  They were masculine and simple, but elegant.  He remembered his mother telling him that rings were a symbol of commitment, but he liked to think of them a touch more poetically.  They were closed circles with no end.  He couldn’t say he knew what the future would hold for them, but in that moment he knew that those circles were a perfect representation of what their relationship was, and always would be, ongoing forever.  </p><p>“Oh, I’m the idiot?” Sirius questioned.</p><p>“You are my idiot.” </p><p>Sirius quirked an eyebrow challengingly.</p><p>“Fine, we’re both idiots,” he admitted.  “Look, they had them inscribed on the inside.”</p><p>Sirius peered over his shoulder, “What do they say?”</p><p><em> “Mon éternité,” </em>Remus read.</p><p>“My eternity.” Sirius breathed.  “Damn them, that’s bloody perfect.”</p><p>Remus reached out for Sirius’s hand, squeezing it in his own before sliding one of the rings onto his finger.  Sirius smiled broadly.  </p><p>Then he held out his own hand for Sirius, so that he could slide the other ring onto his finger.  Once it was on, he felt it magically resize so that it fit perfectly.  </p><p>All of the sudden, it felt like his heart was too big for his chest.  Even though he had never seen the ring before today, having it slide into his finger felt like someone returning a lost possession.  Like somehow it had always been part of him.  </p><p>“James and Lily did a good job on these rings,” Sirius commented, smiling so broadly that Remus felt a little dazed.</p><p>“Oh come on,” Remus said with a snort, “They are lovely, this was all Lily.”  </p><p>Sirius burst out laughing, pulling Remus into his chest and wrapping his arms around him.  They stood like that for quite a while, their breaths mingling.  Remus never wanted to let him go.  </p><p>“I think I should make Pete my best man just to spite Prongs,” Sirius said.  </p><p>Remus shook his head seriously, “He’d never forgive you.”</p><p>As he stood there, it suddenly occurred to him that now that they had this all ironed out, nothing else could trip them up. There were no more big decisions on the horizon that they wouldn’t be able to face head-on and reach a compromise on if they disagreed.  There was nothing bigger than marriage, was there?  They were home free.</p><p>---</p><p>As James and Lily walked away from the picnic table, Lily slipped his hand into his.  </p><p>“Mission accomplished,” James said, smiling slyly at his own reference to their last successful intervention.  </p><p>Lily laughed happily.</p><p>“So, when do you think we should tell them that I’m pregnant?”</p><p><br/>
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